The crypto market, ever the melodrama, has descended into delightful chaos. Bitcoin’s relentless parade of gains has left traders clutching their pearls and muttering, “Surely, this can’t go on?”-as if they hadn’t said the same thing every week since 2010. Meanwhile, Ethereum, ever the patient understudy, appears to be quietly rehearsing for its own encore-though whether anyone will notice remains to be seen.
Bitcoin, the grand old prophet of digital gold, rebounded a jaunty 3%, trading above $103.6k as if it had just remembered where it left its keys. Ethereum (ETH), trying not to be left out of the party, was up over 4%, trading around the thrillingly precise $3,446-probably just enough to buy a decent coffee and some existential dread.
BTCC, that old-timer in the crypto world who’s been around since “blockchain” meant something, just dropped a new feature called Smart Copy Trading. Think of it as group therapy for indecisive investors. Launched on November 6, 2025 (a date I’m sure is etched into the calendar next to “Don’t Panic”), it lets you clone the strategies of “professional” traders. Because nothing says “I trust my financial future” like letting someone else’s gut-or lack thereof-dictate your moves.
The firm’s latest amour, now totaling 1,558,848 shares valued at [$]58.78 million[/], constitutes 2.21% of the ETF’s reportable assets-a statistic as precise as a Savile Row measurement. One might call it a flirtation, though only a philistine would mistake flirtation for commitment.
Indeed, the keen-eyed professionals, those tireless watchers of market trends, are watching with bated breath, pondering whether the current market structure can possibly summon another grandiose price move. 😏
The acquisition arrives as Molson Coors trades at $45.18 per share-a 17% annual drop and 35 percentage points below the S&P 500’s performance. With revenue of $11.63 billion (TTM) and a 4.13% dividend yield-the highest since 2020-the company presents as a textbook value stock. Yet its enterprise value of six times EBITDA masks a deeper arithmetic: a 50% plunge from its 2016 peak suggests structural rot, not temporary mispricing.
The decentralized finance ecosystem, already a labyrinth of jargon and promise, has found a new patron in Anchorage Digital. Institutions, those stalwart pillars of tradition, now have a “safe” avenue to dabble in Bitcoin DeFi via BOB’s hybrid chain. Because what could possibly go wrong with blending Ethereum’s innovation and Bitcoin’s security? 🧪
On Nov. 7, bitcoin (BTC) slithered below $100,000, slinking to $99,376 amid rumors that long-term holders-those OG whales, who’ve clung to their BTC since the dawn of blockchain-were cashing in their chips like a pack of sardonic gamblers. The slide dragged bitcoin’s market capitalization further from the $2 trillion mirage, while the crypto economy’s total value wilted to a paltry $3.4 trillion-a sum that would make a billionaire blush.
According to the whispers in the Fortune teacup ☕, this deal is as noteworthy as a giant peach rolling into town. Tempo, you see, is the brainchild of fintech giant Stripe and crypto venture firm Paradigm, who apparently decided that September was the perfect month to conjure a $5 billion valuation out of thin air. 🌪️ Commonware, ever the humble hero, refused to spill the beans on its other investors, leaving us all to wonder who else is tossing gold into the cauldron.
According to the SEC’s ledger, Herald’s 42,300 shares vanished, a liquidation so absolute it suggests not mere portfolio pruning but a confession of sin. For what other reason would a fund surrender its stake entirely, save to absolve itself of the compulsion to cling to a rising tide? The arithmetic-$17.199 million in paper gains-pales beside the existential weight of the act.
