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Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: 12. Hours Spent Watching Charts: 9. Number of Panicked Texts to Friends: 24. Today, I attempted to decode GQRE and REET like they were my horoscope. Here’s what happened:

*Beta measures price volatility relative to the S&P 500; beta is calculated from five-year weekly returns. The 1-yr return represents total return over the trailing 12 months.

Both these funds, you see, are determined to capture U.S. small-cap value stocks-those companies trading at prices that make one raise an eyebrow, as though they were offering a half-price sale on a rainy afternoon. This comparison, then, is less a battle of titans and more a matter of personal preference, much like deciding whether to invest in a new hat or a second pair of gloves. We shall examine costs, performance, liquidity, and portfolio composition to determine which might suit the discerning investor’s needs.

In a filing as unassuming as a poorly timed yawn, Westwind disclosed the sale of 420,897 shares of Waystar, reducing its stake to zero. A gesture of indifference, perhaps, or a sigh of relief from a portfolio that had grown weary of the stock’s persistent lack of pizzazz.

1-year price change calculated using Jan. 2, 2026 as the reference date. A decline so steep, it could double as a rollercoaster.

*Beta measures how much a fund dances with the S&P 500; the more it waltzes, the more it risks falling into the abyss.

transaction fees, payment processing, and ads. A monetization strategy that would make a Venetian merchant weep with envy.

Nomad Foods, a British enterprise, owns the Birds Eye and Findus brands. It is the largest frozen foods manufacturer in Europe, a fact that seems both impressive and absurd in an age where investors crave the next big thing. The company’s revenue is split between protein and vegetables, a decision that might be described as prudent-or, in the parlance of Wall Street, “positioning for the health-conscious consumer.” One wonders if the same logic applies to selling dehydrated potatoes in a world increasingly preoccupied with kale smoothies.