North Korea’s Crypto Heist: EtherHiding 🕵️♂️💰🚀
This whole “EtherHiding” business kicked off in 2023, because apparently, 2023 was the year of “let’s make crypto theft trendy.” The hackers pair this with good old-fashioned social engineering-fake job offers, high-profile interviews, and probably promises of free avocado toast. 🥑📰 They lure victims to malicious websites, where a Loader Script takes over like a bad DJ at a wedding. Then, boom! A smart contract steals your funds faster than you can say “blockchain.”
Standard Lithium’s Equity Offering: A $130M Etiquette Disaster
Standard Lithium owns a lithium operation stretching across East Texas and Arkansas-a venture that recently benefited from the government’s “critical materials” panic. You know, the same panic that made every lithium stock rally harder than a teenager asked to clean their room. But today, Standard Lithium decided to throw its shareholders under the bus. Literally. Not metaphorically. There’s video.
XRP Supply Squeeze: Meme to Market? 🚨
Crypto analyst Zach Rector ignited discussions about XRP’s circulating supply this week after posting on X social media that the “XRP supply shock is not just a meme anymore.” Rector explained that while the concept once seemed exaggerated, developments within the Flare ecosystem are now turning it into a measurable market trend, where on-chain demand could limit liquidity over time. One might say Rector has finally found his muse-or perhaps he’s just chasing the ghost of a bubble. 🕵️♂️
Credo’s CEO Sells 18,952 Shares: A Dividend Hunter’s Nightmare
A COMPANY THAT SELLS CONNECTIVITY SOLUTIONS LIKE IT’S SELLING HEROIN. SerDes, DSP, chiplets-these are the new narcotics. They’re in data centers, networking gear, and the pockets of executives who think they’re untouchable. The world’s a Wi-Fi hotspot, and Credo’s the provider with a monopoly on the signal.
Swiss Regulator Calls Out FIFA NFT Platform in Hilarious Legal Showdown
On a day typically reserved for fondue and precise watches, GESPA dropped their formal complaint, claiming that FIFA’s “competitions”-which apparently consist of riddles, challenges, and airdrops-are essentially gambling disguised as digital collectibles. Because nothing says “harmless fun” like gambling with a sprinkle of blockchain, right? 🤔
Harbor Capital Dumps $24M in Comfort Systems Shares
The SEC, that grand arbiter of finance’s finer points, let slip the news on the same date: Harbor Capital had been trimming its sails in Comfort Systems USA during Q3. The arithmetic is plain as day-$23.58 million vanished from their ledger, and now they hold 9,286 shares worth $7.66 million. A ship’s captain might call it a course correction; a man of the markets might call it a midlife crisis.
SolarEdge’s Solar Eclipse: A Tale of Four Analysts and a Modest Rally 🌞
Perincheril, our first host of the affair, began the proceedings on Monday with a most generous gesture, elevating his fair-value estimate from £25 (or its American cousin, $25) to a sprightly $40 per share. One might liken it to a gentleman tipping his hat to a passing cloud. The next three days saw Thakkar, Strouse, and Percoco follow suit, their adjustments ranging from the modest (Thakkar’s $16 to $19) to the merely polite (Strouse’s $27 to $29). Yet, for all their numeric derring-do, not one of these estimable souls deigned to bestow a “Buy” rating. Instead, they clung to their existing verdicts-neutral for Perincheril and Strouse, and the equivalent of “Sell” for the others. A most peculiar social dance, to be sure, where the music plays on but no one dares to take the floor.
Ripple CEO’s 3-Word AI Reaction Goes Viral!
An AI-generated Garlinghouse in a robe, headphones, and a golden mic? Yes, please. The caption screamed “Get up, stack conviction!” as if we were at a crypto motivational seminar. 🎤💸