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In the daily shenanigans of life, Bitcoin is trying to recover from a dramatic breakup with its last peak at $124,517. 🤷‍♀️ The chart is showing what we call “higher lows and higher highs” – basically, a cute little uptrend forming deliciously. However, it’s stuck on the edge of its seat near $116,000 and realizes it forgot its dance moves. A close above $117,000 might be the party starter for a trip to $120,000, but if things drop below $110,000? Darling, we’re toast.

Currently consolidating at a crucial spot, it appears that even the cofounder of Wormhole-bless their heart-has deemed this week of existential importance. “Time to move forward,” they whisper. But are they holding their breath too? I imagine they are, like all of us on the edge of a cliff waiting for the storm to pass or the wind to change direction. ⏳

As whales grow fat on $ETH and sharks circle like crypto piranhas, the retail crowd has discovered Pepenode ($PEPENODE), a project so delightfully absurd it gamifies staking like a Victorian parlor game. Why mine for gold when you can mine for memes? 💎

Last Friday, in what can only be described as a shining beacon of transparency (or perhaps an earnest attempt to curb the incessant grilling), Brian unveiled a marvellously straightforward “Guide to the Digital Asset Listing Process.” This manuscript was duly penned after numerous queries rained down upon Coinbase, as users clamoured like children at the candy store, wondering how and why certain coins made the cut. A noble if slightly overdue gesture indeed.

Behold! The last week has seen a veritable ballet of institutional short positions. Some banks have trimmed their wagers, while others have expanded with the enthusiasm of a man who’s just discovered the last slice of pie. Morgan Stanley MUFG, our old friend, remains the king of the short pile, clutching 20 million shares (2.83%) after adding 1.92 million. Oh, but they trimmed 768,000 shares first-how considerate of them! 🤷‍♂️

Shocking, I know! Bitcoin isn’t *perfect*? Next, you’ll tell me Bridget Jones doesn’t have her life together. But for those in the know (aka not the newbies still Googling “What is blockchain?”), it’s the industry’s dirtiest little secret. 🕵️♀️

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And let us not forget the great democratization of trading! These bots are not just for the hardened financier, oh no. They are for the masses, the hoi polloi, the everyman who fancies himself a master of the markets. Automation, real-time data, and powerful controls-all at your fingertips, or rather, your Telegram chat. How utterly convenient! 🌐

That’s right, folks – a cool $480 million just rolled off the whales’ yachts as soon as XRP winked at $3. Cue the collective nervous twitch in the XRP crowd, because when these crypto whales start selling, it’s rarely a sign they’re planning a surprise party. More like, “Let’s party now, panic later.”