It’s just… commodities. It feels so… un-chic. I’ve been focusing on tech, a bit of ethical investing (mostly guilt-driven, if I’m honest), and the occasional splurge on something with “disruptive potential.” But commodities? It’s like discovering your accountant has a secret passion for competitive ferret-legging.
The brief respite we observed yesterday stemmed from the Trump administration’s sudden enthusiasm for dialogue with Iran – a performance as believable as a politician’s promise. The threat of military intervention, momentarily withdrawn, had briefly calmed the markets, though one suspects the relief was more about avoiding immediate chaos than achieving genuine peace. Iran, it seems, was prepared to disrupt the flow of energy through the Strait of Hormuz – a gesture that would have reminded everyone precisely how dependent we are on the whims of those who control the oil taps.
Oracle, a purveyor of prophecies…err, software, shed almost 5%, continuing a retreat from its earlier, inflated valuation. One begins to suspect the oracles were simply very good at marketing. Similar establishments, such as ServiceNow and Salesforce, also experienced a downward adjustment in perceived worth. The arrival of new, shiny, artificial intelligences from Amazon.com—those little clockwork minds—seems to have unsettled the sector. Even Microsoft, a company that once cornered the market on digital scrolls, lost a bit of its lustre, dipping almost 3%. It appears even the most established empires can be caught unawares by a clever new innovation…or a particularly persuasive sales goblin.
Bloom Energy (BE +3.28%), Brookfield Renewable (BEP +2.32%)(BEPC +2.37%), and NuScale Power (SMR 2.86%). Three names. They all claim to be the future. The future. Like the present isn’t good enough? I’m telling you, it’s exhausting. Anyway, here’s the deal with each of them, as I see it. And believe me, I see things.
Trading volume? A cool 65.3 million shares. That’s a lot of servers. Or, you know, a lot of people hoping to catch the next wave. They went public in 2007, and have grown 2438% since. Which, let’s be real, is a number that makes my accountant slightly panic.
Values are calculated based on SEC filings and market conditions as of March 13, 2026.
Both have felt the sting of recent troubles, become…more accessible, shall we say. The question isn’t simply which is cheaper, but which offers a sliver of genuine opportunity for those of us who aren’t counting pennies from a tower. Which one, if either, offers a path beyond mere speculation?
Trading volume reached 54.3 million shares – a feverish activity, a desperate grasping for… what, exactly? Perhaps a justification for the past, or a desperate hope for the future. The company, born in 2020, has experienced a growth of 1,529% since its initial offering. A staggering ascent, but does it portend a similar trajectory, or merely a precipitous fall?
Let’s just get this over with. $256,307.97. That’s what he got. Seriously, who calculates to the cent? It’s insulting. He still has 325,250 shares, which, according to their little table, is worth about $7.34 million. So, he’s not exactly hurting. He’s not exactly not hurting, either. It’s just… it’s the implication.
If you happen to own shares in Bitfarms – or if it’s lurking on your watchlist like a particularly persistent goblin3 – you’re probably wondering if now is the time to double down. The question isn’t simply ‘will they make money?’ but ‘will they manage to avoid accidentally summoning a rogue AI that demands all the world’s processing power?’ A legitimate concern, really.