On Monday, Yonhap News reported that FSC Chairman Lee Eun-won, a man who clearly enjoys being the party pooper of digital finance, declared that “interest payments on stablecoins must be blocked in any form.” Imagine a world where your crypto earns zero rewards-how dare it!
Apparently, Ethereum isn’t just a cryptocurrency-it’s a “programmable, open finance framework.” Fancy words for “grifter playground.” 🚀🎢 According to some guy named AdrianoFeria (who’s probably just Larry David in disguise), this openness has birthed innovation AND a million ways to fleece retail investors. Low-quality tokens? Check. Overpriced NFTs? Double check. 🖼️💨 Retail investors thought they were playing 4D chess but ended up losing their queen. Oops.
“Open interest in ETH resembles the simplistic serenity of June 30th of this very year, when ETH traded at the illustrious value of $2,500,” he remarked with the gravity befitting an oracle. “With the looming specter of a Supercycle for Ethereum, this dislocation in pricing serves as a veritable siren call enticing the bold-hearted to plunge into its depths.” Ah, the profundity of such calculations! 🤔
But what if I told you reliable income doesn’t have to be dull? What if I said two utterly unglamorous companies – one that owns boring shops, another that owns pipes you don’t want to think about – are quietly printing cash like accountants laundering joy? Realty Income (O) and Oneok (OKE) aren’t sexy. They’re not going viral. But they’ve been paying dividends longer than your marriage has lasted. Possibly longer than your mortgage. And honestly? That’s the kind of loyalty you can set your watch to.
This particular stock isn’t just riding the AI gravy train-it’s building the tracks. Revenue growth? Double-digit? Triple-digit? Please, it’s more like “quadruple-digit” if you squint and ignore the math. Analysts whisper this sector could grow into a trillion-dollar pie, and our hero company-let’s call it “Nvidia” for now-is the only chef with a flamethrower and a business degree. (Spoiler: the pie is gluten-free, and it tastes like money.)
The Vanguard High Dividend Yield ETF (VYM) is the financial equivalent of a neighbor who prunes their hedges with surgical precision and leaves you a jar of homemade pickles. It tracks high-yield dividend stocks, excluding REITs, which is a mercy if you’ve ever tried to explain what a REIT is to a family member who nods like they understand but is really thinking about their ex. With a 2.5% yield, it’s a gentle nudge toward passive income, though I’ve learned not to get too attached to any dividend-paying company that hasn’t existed since the days of vinyl records and rotary phones.
One might suppose these heights are now beyond reach, a fortress too lofty for mortal ambition. But lo! Our author, a portfolio manager of ton and discernment, assures us the gates remain unbarred. The AI revolution, that court fool in technicolor, is still in its infancy. And here, the CEO and CFO of Nvidia, twin jesters in the court of shareholder dreams, parley in trillions and gigawatts. Their dialogues are but a vaudeville act: “Behold, 3 to 4 trillion dollars in AI infrastructure! We claim 58-70% of each!” Yes, how charming.
“We are at the beginning of an industrial revolution,” she declares-her voice as grave as a funeral dirge. “By the end of the decade, 3 to 4 trillion dollars shall be squandered on AI!” Note the air quotes: $3 [trillion] to $4 trillion. A presumably conservative estimate. One imagines her audience nodding solemnly, not minding the ambiguity of a “decade”-whether 2029 or 2030. Trivialities, these!
“Out of a gigawatt AI factory, we represent about $35 billion!”
A factory costing $50 to $60 billion! And Nvidia claims nearly half of this machination of madness? Whether 58% or 70%, it is all a game of cabals and counters. The audacity is laughable-yet, the market bows to Goldman Sachs-like gravity.
Let us now pretend a portfolio manager fares like a bean-counter in some satirical farce. If global AI spending ascends to $3-4 trillion annually by 2030, and Nvidia’s share remains a deus ex machina of 46-56% (after a 20% concession to AMD’s shadowy threat), then annual AI infrastructure revenue shall abide in the $1.38 to $2.24 trillion range. A delightful arithmetic!
With a closing price of $183.22 in October-and assuming Nvidia’s valuation remains as steadfast as a kleptomaniac at a bakery-our calculations yield a best-case range of $1,942 to $3,115, a base-case of $1,300 to $2,125. Note the “assumption” of unchanging valuations, which is to say: ignore the mundane reality of presentable growth ratios and pretend optimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If the Auto platform’s driverless chariots, those rolling woolly blankets with a penchant for 18th-century manners, progress beyond their current state of pretense, one might adjudge the entire calculation insufficient. Yet let us not lose ourselves in this subplot; it is but a coloratura flourish upon a grand divertissement.
Thus, with a beleaguered economy in the wings and a stock market as fickle as a jilted lover, we conclude our analysis with the assurance that Nvidia’s stock, whether in best-case outrage or base-case moderation, shall escalate in multiples so preposterous they might compel even the Bank of America to reconsider its algorithms. And should this madness culminate in a share price of $3,115, remember: a stock split shall be the final jest, for it is no more than a magician’s sleight of hand pastry-smaller in mouthful, no less absurd in the tale.
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Make no mistake, the grim reaper of finance had paid a visit, courtesy of one Bob Huang over at Morgan Stanley. He lowered the boom with a downgrade that sent shivers down the spine of the trading floor. Underweight? Holding on to a sinking ship called Progressive? He slashed the price target from a robust $265 to-well-$265. That’s not a typo; it’s the kind of circular reasoning you’d expect in a cheap novel, not a boardroom.
If you’ve ever tried to trim your portfolio like it’s a TED Talk on financial restraint, Manitou’s got a hot take for you. They sliced their Home Depot stake by 30,004 shares during Q3 2025, leaving them with 37,869 shares. Math check: That’s like cutting a slice of pie but keeping the plate. The average closing price made this transaction roughly $11.8 million in “I’ll just hold onto this for a sec” money.
A document, thick as a tax code and dull as a ledger entry, filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission revealed this act of financial sorcery. Cadinha, previously content to graze in the meadows of Berkshire Hathaway and Costco, now stakes its claim in the fortress of Goldman Sachs. The 19,125 shares-worth $15.2 million-constitute 2.1% of the fund’s reportable U.S. equity assets as of the autumnal equinox known as September 30.
