Bollinger Bands Squeeze Bitcoin: Is a $190,000 Moonshot Next? 🎢🐍

by

Key Considerations (or, the essentials, if you must):

  • O, trembling mortal! The Bollinger Bands — that fabled serpentine corset girdling Bitcoin’s volatile waist — now suggest a possible pirouette into the $110,000 ether and, in some feverish opium dream, even beyond. 

  • July looms: will Bitcoin ascend to unprecedented heights, buoyed by tailwinds worthy of Zeus’s playful gusts?

Bitcoin (BTC), that shivering digital Sphinx, hovers tantalizingly on the threshold of rapture and ruin. Bollinger (of the Bands, not of the champagne, though the confusion is understandable) whispers of impending volatility — as if Bitcoin does anything else! 📈🎭

Bollinger Bands: BTC Price Strains its Girdle

This sunny Sunday, on the ever-glittering scroll of X, Crypto Rover declared, with oracular bravado, that Bitcoin’s metaphorical corset is laced tighter than ever. What comes next? A breakout, they declare! Or possibly an inescapable wedgie. Logic and lunacy, holding hands on the blockchain.

The Bands — a trader’s trusty barometer of tragedy and farce — clung to the narrowest range in twelve months. Such tension can only mean one of two things: a masterful escape act, or a very public pants-splitting fiasco.

Crypto Rover’s chart (because, apparently, one must have charts in these matters) trumpets that these bands are “tighter than they’ve been” since the frozen yesteryear of February 2024 (a more innocent time, when $74,000 seemed scandalous, not quaint).

Recall the halcyon days when Bitcoin catapulted 75% in the span of weeks, breaching the upper Bollinger bastion with all the subtlety of a sumo wrestler hurdling a picket fence. 

Now, should the gods (and perhaps a few bots) so will it, Bitcoin’s sullen $108,900 could, as CryptoMoon prophesies with all the accuracy of a caffeinated fortune cookie, become the giddy summit of $190,000. Place your bets! Or don’t — what is money, after all, but an elaborate inside joke shared by economists?

Crypto Rover’s verdict?

“Big pump incoming!” (No word on what happens if you miss the pump. Try the stairs?)

The prophecy does not stand alone. Cantonese Cat, not to be outdone, yowls, “Bollinger band tighter than it’s been for over a year. Bigger move coming.” Clearly, feline analysis is the pinnacle of financial journalism. 🐱

Frank Fetter, the bard of percentages, warbles on X:

The $BTC Bollinger Bands are pretty compressed — currently around yearly lows at a 9.4% price range. When vol?

— Frank (@FrankAFetter) June 30, 2025

As all this bandying about bands continues, John Bollinger himself emerges from the mists, waxes bullish once more (perhaps influenced by the spirits — financial and otherwise — of the season):

“Bitcoin looks to be setting up for an upside breakout.”

Metric Madness: “Bull Trend is Intact,” and Other Cheery Pronouncements

CryptoMoon, diligent chronicler of the absurd, reports that Bitcoin, stalwart in the face of $110,000 resistance, finds allies: spot ETFs, treasury juggernauts, and the incomprehensible cup-and-handle pattern (what is this, a Victorian tea party?). Together, these augur a potential eruption to $230,000. Because, why not?

Pending U.S. tariffs and a “Crypto Week” in D.C. are expected to get the bulls mooing (or perhaps lobbying).

And then, a cameo by MVRV — an onchain metric, adored by some, ignored by most. It measures whether Bitcoin is over- or undervalued (just like every drunken pub argument, only with numbers).

With MVRV perched at 2.23, smugly above the 365-day average (2.15, for the completists among us), analyst Burakkesmeci opines in QuickTake:

“The bull trend is intact.”

Should global money supply (M2) continue its drunken sprawl, we are told, Bitcoin may yet woo $170,000 in the coming months. The moon awaits. Or the abyss. Either would be, at the very least, terribly interesting. 🚀🤹‍♂️

Read More

2025-07-07 13:43