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Times, as they are wont to do, have shuffled on. And investors, bless their optimistic souls, are forever searching for the next big thing. The current refrain of a ‘nuclear renaissance’ is, admittedly, a bit overused – it’s bandied about like a particularly enthusiastic goblin with a shiny bauble. But there’s a kernel of truth to it. Nuclear isn’t just a ‘clean’ energy source – a term that feels suspiciously like rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic – it’s become absolutely vital to the current mania for Artificial Intelligence.¹ Turns out, all those servers need a lot of power. Who knew?

However, a principle long observed in this profession suggests caution. When circumstances appear excessively favorable, a critical reassessment is warranted. The market, after all, is not governed by optimism alone, but by the cold logic of valuation. And it is here that a disquieting picture emerges.

The market is currently doing that thing where it punishes growth stocks like they personally offended it. Which, honestly, some of them probably did with all the metaverse talk. But The Trade Desk isn’t some crypto-adjacent fantasy. It’s an ad platform. A really good one. And right now, it’s trading like it’s selling buggy whips. Which, in the digital age, is a truly impressive feat of market miscalculation.

The parallel advances in the valuations of Walmart and Target offer no solace, merely reinforcing the impression of a systemic anomaly. The forthcoming earnings report for the second quarter of fiscal 2026, scheduled for March 5th, feels less like a potential catalyst and more like a procedural formality, a document destined to confirm what is already, inexplicably, known.

They speak of a 72% surge in profit. A figure that, if one weren’t accustomed to the peculiar arithmetic of Wall Street, would seem almost… demonic. The transformation, you see, is quite the spectacle. From a venture bleeding capital – a rather unsightly wound, frankly – to a purveyor of burgeoning profits. It’s enough to make one suspect a pact with some unseen power, though I suspect it’s merely competent management, a rare enough phenomenon these days.

The clever chaps at iShares Semiconductor ETF (SOXX +5.34%) have noticed this, you see. They’ve gathered up thirty of the most dominant chip-making companies and stuffed them into one convenient package. And, remarkably, over the last ten years, this package has grown by a whopping 1,150%! Four times more than the rather pedestrian returns of the S&P 500. A truly scrumptious result, wouldn’t you say?

Chewy’s initial success stemmed from a demonstrable ability to compete effectively with larger e-commerce platforms, notably Amazon, through a customer-centric approach. Superior service and competitive pricing fostered a degree of brand loyalty rarely observed in commoditized retail. This, predictably, catalyzed revenue expansion during the period of accelerated online adoption. The subsequent market correction, however, appeared disproportionate, potentially creating a value proposition for discerning investors.

The first quarter of fiscal 2026 has yielded a bounty of iPhone sales – a predictable consequence of ingrained consumer habit and the relentless cycle of planned obsolescence. The stock, predictably, has responded with a brief spasm of enthusiasm. And now, pronouncements issue forth from the executive suite, assurances that all is progressing according to plan, that Apple is, in fact, at the vanguard of this “AI revolution.” One is reminded of the meticulously crafted reports issued from the depths of bureaucratic institutions, designed not to illuminate truth, but to obscure the slow erosion of genuine progress.

Dogecoin, unlike its canine cousin Shiba Inu, hasn’t bothered with the complexities of smart contracts on the Ethereum network. It appears to operate on the principle that simplicity is next to… well, not quite godliness, but perhaps a quicker path to volatility. This isn’t to suggest Shiba Inu is a paragon of utility, merely that Dogecoin has deliberately eschewed even that pretense. It’s designed, one suspects, to be less a financial instrument and more a digital distraction.