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Sandisk, you see, isn’t just making little chips. They’re making the brains of everything! Smartphones, PCs, those fancy self-driving cars that scare me…even those little fitness trackers that tell me how little I exercise. It’s everywhere! And it turns out, everything needs more storage. It’s like a national obsession. They’re the plumbing of the digital age, and believe me, nobody wants a clogged digital pipe! The edge device market – that’s your phones and computers, for those of you still using rotary dials – accounts for a whopping 55% of their revenue. A 63% jump year-over-year? That’s not growth, that’s a rocket launch!

By the closing bell, the stock price had, predictably, ceased its ascent. One wonders if the market, like a discerning physician, simply diagnosed a temporary reprieve rather than a genuine recovery.

Applied Materials (AMAT +8.03%) surged after a decent earnings report. Apparently, making the stuff that makes other stuff is still a viable business model. Who knew? And Rivian Automotive (RIVN +26.64%)? Oh, bless their electric little hearts. Up 26.64% to $17.73 after beating expectations. It’s like watching a puppy win a dog show – you’re happy for them, but also deeply suspicious.

The SEC filing landed like a bad trip. Infini, a fund that once saw Baidu as a cornerstone, a shimmering promise of digital dominance, simply…pulled the plug. $4.4 million in value evaporated, a cold reminder that even in the booming Chinese market, fortunes can shift faster than a fentanyl-fueled nightmare. They didn’t just trim the position; they performed a complete lobotomy on their Baidu holdings. A brutal, clinical severing. The historical record will show a tidy transaction. I see a panicked retreat.

They’re saying the report will be out at the end of February. February! Like that’s some kind of guarantee. I swear, these companies deliberately make you wait. It’s a control thing. And everyone’s all excited about the “equity portfolio.” The equity portfolio! As if that’s the whole story. It’s insurance, it’s private holdings… it’s a whole system. But no, let’s focus on the stocks. It’s just… predictable.

The transformation, it seems, has been rather beneficial for those who happened to buy shares five years ago. A curious thing, the stock market. It often rewards the patient, or, let’s be honest, the lucky.

The S&P 500 (^GSPC +0.05%) concluded the day nearly unchanged at 6,836, a testament to the market’s current state of indecision. The Nasdaq Composite (^IXIC 0.22%) experienced a slight dip, closing at 22,547. Within the sector of online content, Meta Platforms (META 1.48%) registered a decline of 1.55%, while Snap (SNAP +0.52%) showed a marginal gain. This mixed performance suggests a general uncertainty regarding the profitability of advertising-supported social media platforms.

Now, look, everything’s green today. It’s a crypto rave, a sea of digital confetti. But Ethereum? Ethereum’s leading the conga line. Which, frankly, is surprising. I expected Dogecoin to be doing the limbo. But no, it’s Ethereum, the sensible one. Sensible…in the world of digital tokens, anyway.

Units of Ollie’s shares sold: 95,151. Estimated transaction value: $11.47 million. Hours spent trying to decipher the meaning of this: far too many. It’s always the small things, isn’t it? The little shifts that send you spiraling into existential dread about your portfolio.

The S&P 500 barely budged—up 0.03% to 6,835—and the Nasdaq Composite dipped a little (0.22% to 22,547). Penn Entertainment, a competitor, wasn’t doing much better, down 5.24% to $11.76. It’s like watching a slow-motion domino rally of mild disappointment. You almost want to look away, but you can’t. You’ve invested emotional energy, and a small amount of capital, so you’re obligated to witness the inevitable.