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The demands of this new age are not born of simple necessity, but of a more voracious appetite: the insatiable hunger of artificial intelligence. The digital mind, a phantom presence, now requires a tangible sustenance – electricity. The International Energy Agency predicts a doubling of global electrical consumption by 2030, a surge that will ripple through the energy sector like a spring thaw. It is a grand reckoning, a re-evaluation of what we deem essential, and where we seek our sustenance.

Ah, Nvidia. The current obsession. Everyone is chasing the phantom of artificial intelligence, convinced it will solve all our problems and, naturally, enrich them beyond measure. Is it a bubble? Perhaps. All bubbles eventually burst, leaving behind a residue of regret and overpriced silicon. But Nvidia, unlike many of its competitors, is not merely selling dreams. It’s selling the tools to build those dreams, or nightmares, as the case may be. The endless appetite of Alphabet, Meta, even Amazon – all throwing vast sums at data centers and computational power – suggests a trend with some staying power. They are, in effect, funding their own potential obsolescence, a delightful irony. The price-to-earnings ratio, hovering around 47, is hardly a steal, but in a world of escalating absurdity, relative value is a concept best left to the economists.

They’re a Bitcoin miner, or were a Bitcoin miner. Now they’re an “AI infrastructure play.” That’s what they’re calling it. “Infrastructure.” Like they’re building roads or something. They’re running servers. It’s not the same. And the stock? Up 52% year to date? 240% over the past year? It’s just…suspicious. It feels like everyone’s in on a joke I didn’t get.

During the earnings call, Microsoft’s CFO, Amy Hood, rather delicately pointed out that investors seem to be drawing a “direct correlation” between capital expenditure and Azure’s revenue. A diplomatic way of saying they’re questioning the return on investment in all this AI infrastructure. One can hardly blame them. Throwing money at a problem rarely solves it, though it does provide employment for accountants.

Now, there’s a whole startup scrum trying to power the AI revolution. Oklo and Nano Nuclear Energy are in the mix, but NuScale is currently the only U.S. company with an NRC-approved design. Which is…something. It’s like being the first person to bring a spork to a buffet – innovative, but you’re still using a spork. The problem? They haven’t actually built one yet. They’re currently operating on the business model of “future revenue” which, as anyone who’s ever freelanced knows, is a risky proposition.

And so, we turn our gaze to Starbucks. Yes, Starbucks. A purveyor of caffeinated beverages and, increasingly, a sanctuary for those adrift in the modern world. A most peculiar refuge, to be sure, but a refuge nonetheless. For the past two years, it has languished, a forgotten corner of the marketplace, while the digital phantoms danced and multiplied. A most unfortunate state of affairs, as any man of sense can see.

Indeed, the rumored $50 billion capital raise dwarfs Saudi Aramco’s previous offering – a mere planetary nebula in comparison. One begins to wonder if the intention isn’t simply funding, but a demonstration – a celestial flexing of financial muscle. I confess, I’ve concocted a few theories, each more speculative than the last, and not entirely devoid of a certain perverse logic. Perhaps one, or a fragment thereof, will prove…illuminating.

It is easy to forget that ChatGPT, for all its initial impact, is an upstart. It challenged the established order, and for a time, enjoyed a period of rapid growth. But the hyperscalers, those behemoths of the digital age, are not easily displaced. Their size, profitability, and established ‘moats’ – those barriers to entry – are formidable. The initial disruption is impressive, but sustaining it is another matter entirely.

These gains weren’t blown in by chance, mind you. They’ve been fed by a confluence of things—the shimmering promise of new technologies, the surprising strength in company earnings, and a steady stream of money flowing from corporations back into their own hands. But beneath it all, the quiet hand of the Federal Reserve has been easing the flow of credit, lubricating the gears of the economy. Lower rates are a balm, a way to encourage borrowing, building, and the hopeful expansion of enterprise.