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The stock, having pirouetted downward with a 65% loss over the past decade, now faces a breakup as imaginative as a vicar’s excuse for missing Sunday service. Management proposes dividing the firm into North American Grocery Co (custodian of Oscar Mayer’s wares) and Global Taste Elevation Co (keeper of Heinz’s ketchup kingdom). Mr. Buffett, ever the candid chap, has dismissed this maneuver as “about as useful as a screen door on a submarine,” which one must admit cuts sharper than a Ginsu knife.

In this landscape of shifting fortunes, it was the names tied to artificial intelligence and the broader tech tapestry that bore the weight of today’s gains. The strength of Oracle (ORCL +6.63%) and Micron Technology (MU +6.89%) lifted spirits, even as consumer stocks faltered beneath the weight of underwhelming earnings. Nike (NKE -10.54%) and Lamb Weston (LW -25.94%), once paraded as champions of retail, stumbled due to disappointing forecasts, casting a shadow over the shelves of retail and staples alike.

According to financial documents, Serenity has now amassed 5 million shares of Kanzhun, which, in their twisted little world, is valued at $117.6 million. This represents nearly 30% of Serenity’s total assets under management, a number that hovers around $394 million. An impressive feat, if one is a fan of high-risk wagers.

The SEC filing from November 13 reveals Serenity Capital’s latest crime: inflating their HTHT stake by 710,431 shares. Their total holding now sits at $49.8 million, which is 12.6% of the fund’s AUM. This isn’t just a purchase-it’s a declaration of war against the universe’s indifference to their portfolio’s order. The fund’s top holdings now read like a spreadsheet written by someone who refuses to alphabetize their groceries: BZ ($117.6M), ZTO ($97.1M), TAL ($53M), HTHT ($49.8M), and EDU ($34.9M). Neat, but why EDU? Did they misread a memo?

On November 13, Singapore-based Serenity Capital Management acquired 411,380 shares of New Oriental Education & Technology Group during the third quarter. The total holding now stands at 656,878 shares, valued at $34.9 million as of September 30. This makes New Oriental the fund’s fifth-largest position among eight reported holdings.

Sui’s been dancing on the edge of a knife, and today it’s stepping back from the blade. At 12:15 p.m. ET, the token’s up 8.7% from yesterday’s low. Not bad for a coin that’s been bleeding value for weeks. Those who held their nerve during the bloodletting? They’re smiling now, like a gambler who just caught a lucky break. But luck’s a fickle thing in crypto-ask anyone who’s watched their ledger turn to ash.

Picture this: a fund manager in a pinstripe suit, squinting at a spreadsheet like it’s a cryptic crossword, suddenly decides Ambarella deserves 4.8% of their portfolio. That’s like dedicating nearly half your bookshelf to a single author whose latest novel hasn’t even hit shelves yet. The purchase increased their position by roughly the weight of a baby elephant, though I suspect baby elephants are less volatile.

Legally chronicled, the increase in holdings-now standing at 350,000-supposedly signifies conviction. But what is conviction in a world where the market’s pulse-once vigorous-now beats erratically? The valuation of $8.5 million in a firm whose stock has disintegrated by half over twelve months whispers of illusions sustained by hope, not strength. This act-reminiscent of Leontiev’s tragic heroes-suggests a belief that the underlying business, battered but not broken, offers a lie worth believing. The absurdity lies not just in the figure, but in the hope that the core remains unshaken amidst decaying foundations.