But here’s the thing: these doomsayers have a truly remarkable track record of being… incorrect. And there’s a structural underpinning to Bitcoin’s price that’s surprisingly robust, even if you’re a bear with a very sophisticated algorithm. Let’s unpack why this digital thing is unlikely to actually hit $0.00. It’s less about “to the moon” and more about “staying vaguely above water,” which, honestly, feels like a win in this market.
In such times, prudence dictates a retreat to the reliable, to those bastions of predictability: dividend growth stocks. Not the speculative rockets promising instant riches, but the steady, unglamorous workhorses. Consider, if you will, the titans of consumption: Coca-Cola and Procter & Gamble, and the curiously resilient Federal Realty. They are not exciting, no. But excitement, as a rule, is the prelude to disaster. These are companies that understand the fundamental, almost animalistic, needs of humanity. A thirst, a desire for cleanliness… these are not easily extinguished, even by geopolitical storms.
The premise is simple, almost childlike: to capture the elusive performance of smaller companies trading at valuations that suggest, if not outright neglect, at least a degree of market skepticism. Both funds employ the passive, index-hugging strategy so beloved by the modern portfolio manager – a method which, one suspects, prioritizes tranquility over triumph. But the devil, as always, resides in the details, and it is these nuances that separate the discerning investor from the merely compliant.
The regulatory filings revealed that Mr. Wyatt, with the sort of decisive action one expects from a man responsible for the moral upbringing of the nation’s toddlers, acquired 494,118 shares over two days. A gesture, no doubt, intended to project confidence. Whether it reflects actual conviction, or merely a desire to appear buoyant in the face of prevailing headwinds, remains, of course, an open question.
Rivian and Uber are to collaborate in the pursuit of that elusive goal: self-driving vehicles. A noble aim, certainly, though one suspects the vehicles themselves have yet to express an opinion on the matter. Uber, naturally, intends to deploy a fleet of these automated conveyances, up to 50,000 of them, based on Rivian’s ‘R2’ model – a name that sounds suspiciously like a malfunctioning robot from a 1950s science fiction film.
CryptoQuant, some numbers guys on X, shouted that the correlation coefficient between Bitcoin and Gold fell like a toilet seat. For those of us who don’t know what a correlation coefficient is, it’s the math tool that tells you how two things dance together. And apparently, BTC and Gold are now in a disagreement about dance styles.
This Anthropic, it’s not one of your household names… not yet, anyway. Still a private affair, it is. But that don’t mean a fella can’t get a piece of the action. There’s a bit of a clever scheme, if you will, offered by the KraneShares Artificial Intelligence and Technology ETF (AGIX 0.07%). It’s a way to hitch your wagon to this particular star, even before it goes public and likely gets picked clean by the big boys.
See, the big guys are building these massive AI infrastructure empires – think server farms the size of small countries. They’re throwing money at GPUs like they’re going out of style. But even they are running into a problem. Access. It turns out, just having the money to buy the GPUs doesn’t automatically mean you can plug them in and start training your next chatbot. That’s where Nebius, and other “neocloud” companies, come in. They’re basically the GPU rental car agencies for the AI world.
Just after the closing bell – that magical moment when the goblins tally the day’s loot – SoundHound announced that their Chief Financial Officer, Nitesh Sharan, was departing for… well, for the realm of quantum computing. A fascinating place, quantum computing. Rumoured to be populated by cats in boxes and accountants who can be in two places at once.1 The move, effective Friday, April 3rd, is described as Sharan accepting “a leadership role,” which is the polite way of saying he’s traded one set of impossible problems for another.
On the surface, the arrangement appears quite advantageous for Rivian – and, indeed, it is. Fresh capital and a guaranteed customer for a considerable number of vehicles are not to be sneezed at. However, an improvement in prospects does not, alas, automatically translate to a buying opportunity. The market, you see, is a beast of its own making, and often acts with a logic that would baffle even the most seasoned investor.
