So, Qualcomm. [QCOM +0.25%] Down 24% this year. Twenty-four percent! It’s like they tried to have a bad year. And now they’re announcing a $20 billion buyback? It’s… it’s just asking for trouble. Like, “Hey, we’re not doing great, but here’s a bunch of money! Don’t ask questions.” It’s infuriating, frankly. And the dividend? Raised it a measly 3 cents? Three cents! What am I supposed to do with 3 cents? Buy a gumball? It’s the principle of the thing.
The memory shortage, of course. Always something. It’s like these chip manufacturers are actively conspiring to make my life difficult. And Apple. Don’t even get me started on Apple. Developing their own modems? It’s just rude. We had a good thing going. A perfectly acceptable arrangement. Now they want to do it themselves? It’s a power play, that’s what it is. A blatant disregard for established relationships. And you know what? It’s probably going to work. Of course it is.
They’re trying to tell us this buyback is a good thing. “Confidence in the future!” they say. “Returning value to shareholders!” Please. It’s damage control. Pure and simple. They’re throwing money at the problem, hoping it’ll just… go away. It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg. It’s insulting, honestly. They have $7.2 billion in cash, and they’re acting like they’re strapped for funds. It’s just… illogical.
Okay, the automotive and IoT numbers are…fine. A 15% jump in automotive revenue? Okay. A 9% increase in IoT? Acceptable. But let’s not pretend this is some revolutionary breakthrough. It’s still a small part of the overall picture. They’re diversifying, sure, but it’s like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. It’s not going to change the fundamental problem. Which is… what is the fundamental problem, anyway? I’ve been thinking about this for hours. It’s probably something simple. Something I’m overlooking.
The Verdict: Mildly Concerning, with a Side of Annoyance
Look, the stock is cheap. Twelve times forward earnings? That’s… something. And they do have strong cash flow. So, on paper, this buyback makes sense. But my gut… my gut is telling me something’s off. It’s like when a restaurant changes its menu. You think it’s a good idea, but then you realize they’ve gotten rid of your favorite dish. And suddenly, everything is ruined.
They’re guiding for revenue of $10.2 to $11 billion next quarter. It’s…fine. But it’s not exactly inspiring. It’s like ordering a sandwich and getting exactly what you ordered. No surprises. No excitement. Just… a sandwich. And the long-term track record? Since Amon took over? Eleven percent return? The S&P 500 returned 79%! Seventy-nine percent! It’s a disgrace. It’s like they’re actively trying to underperform.
So, should you invest? Honestly? I don’t know. It’s too complicated. There are too many variables. Too many things that could go wrong. I need more information. I need a clearer picture. And frankly, I’m too annoyed to do any more research right now. I’m just going to sit here and stew. And maybe order a sandwich. But not from them. Never from them.
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2026-03-25 09:42