They teamed up with Stocktwits, which is apparently the biggest hangout for US stock investors. Because when I think “reliable source,” I definitely think social media chatrooms. This partnership means Polymarket can now peddle its earnings predictions to a crowd that’s basically 10 million strong, hoping some of them actually know what they’re doing.
This project is basically a meme-filled Minecraft for crypto nerds. 🕹️ Investors can build and upgrade virtual “mining rigs” to earn meme coins like Pepe (PEPE), Fartcoin (FARTCOIN), and other gems. Yes, Fartcoin. Let that sink in. 💨
Upstart’s stock price is dancing 84% below its all-time high from 2021, and that’s enough to make you think the game’s already over. But hold on, things aren’t as dire as they seem. In the last year, the stock’s up 75%, and in the last three, it’s pulled off a neat 123%. Sure, volatility’s been a problem, but there’s something about that number that says “resilience.” They’re on the comeback trail, and I have to admit, it might be worth a second glance.
The chasm between public skepticism and private euphoria? A golden moat for the shrewd. Governments, meanwhile, are treating quantum supremacy like a secret recipe for invisibility ink-essential for guarding encryption before “Q-Day” arrives. Enterprises, ever the pragmatists, are already paying for quantum services, proving demand exists even before the technology matures. Think of it as the 2015 AI market: a circus of hype, but with a ringmaster who knew the tricks would eventually work. These three quantum pioneers? They’re not just players-they’re the ones selling tickets to the future.
The Shenzhen-based sorcerers of silicon and Satoshi plan to use these ill-gotten gains for “general corporate expenses” (read: tea for the boardroom) and “additional Bitcoin purchases” (read: crypto for the masses). How thrilling! A company so wealthy it can afford to be both frugal and flamboyant at the same time. 🧙♂️💰
If you’d invested $10,000 in Oklo on Sept. 1, 2024, you’d now have roughly $149,000. That’s not a typo. It’s a financial version of someone leaving a jar of pickles in the sun and returning to find it’s become a Michelin-starred delicacy. But here’s the catch: Oklo hasn’t commercialized a single product in a decade. It’s selling nuclear reactor blueprints while the rest of us are still arguing about whether to buy a microwave.
The stock’s ascent, it must be said, owes little to the quiet virtues of business fundamentals. Indeed, its price was halved mere months ago until a certain hedge fund manager, with the zeal of a proselytizer, declared it a “100-bagger” on a platform where cats and cryptocurrencies often share the spotlight. Others followed, like moths to a flame of liquidity, until the ticker became a canvas for the whims of retail traders. It is a stock that has outgrown its substance, if not its sense.
The bill’s ask is almost as big as the boss’s ego: the government, bless its heart, wants to snatch up one million Bitcoins over the next five years, stacking them like gold bars in Fort Knox. A strategic reserve, they say. Because what’s gold when you’ve got digital coins?
And so, ORQO Group, with its shiny new asset management portfolio worth a not-so-humble $370 million, has officially launched, stepping onto the scene with all the grace of a bull in a china shop. Their goal? To build a yield platform for Ripple’s RLUSD stablecoin, naturally. No small dreams here.
The company has tapped a new CEO, Kaz Nejatian, who was formerly the COO at Shopify, to steer the ship. And, as if to give it a new glint of hope, two of the co-founders have come back to the board-one of them, Keith Rabois, even took up the fancy role of Chair. Well, isn’t that just the thing-a good dose of shiny new leadership!