Bitcoin’s $90K Meltdown: A Financial Thriller (with Charts!)

Speaking of drama queens, the market’s now playing “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?” with a side of panic. Is this a deeper crash? Only time will tell-or maybe a therapist, again.

Speaking of drama queens, the market’s now playing “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?” with a side of panic. Is this a deeper crash? Only time will tell-or maybe a therapist, again.
Four Ripple wallets, who’ve been around longer than your ex’s dating profile, sent 600 million XRP to six new addresses. Each got exactly 100 million XRP, and two wallets were reduced to zero. Because nothing says “treasury adjustment” like a digital diet. 🥗💸
In a world where even sandbanks crave blockchain, Galaxy Digital has planted its flag in Abu Dhabi, a land where oil money and crypto ambition collide like clueless tourists at a camel race. 🏁

In his December 10 soliloquy, titled “Midnight Launch AAR,” the noble Hoskinson addressed the tempestuous price dance that hath captivated the masses. “It launched at almost $150, a sum so preposterous it could only be described as ‘insane’!” he exclaimed, his eyes widening with dramatic flair. “But lo! As soon as it touched the sacred grounds of Binance Alpha, the heavens wept, and the token plummeted to a mere two cents. Oh, the cruelty of the DGENs! They dumped upon us like a flock of geese over a village green!” 🦆💨
Trading under the ticker XXI (because, of course, we’re in the future), Twenty One Capital is a Bitcoin-native firm that’s got the big boys like Tether, Bitfinex, and SoftBank in its corner. I mean, when you’ve got SoftBank backing you, you should probably be celebrating with champagne, right? 🍾
As if plucked from a Fyodor Dostoevsky tale, the city stands-a city with aspirations of greatness not unlike the great St. Petersburg, its heart is now cradled within the bustling epicenter of ADGM. Here on December 10, Galaxy declared, with the ferocity of a Russian winter poem, its descent into the inviting arms of the UAE. Here, the first step is just a foothill among the surrounding peaks of ambition, where Arabia’s sands meet the West’s innovation. 🏜️🍷
Dec. 9 marked the day when Binance, the big boss of digital coins, inked a deal with Botim Money-no, it’s not a new superhero team-at Binance Blockchain Week in Dubai. The fancy words: a memorandum of understanding, or MoU, for those who like their agreements sound official. Their plan? To let more folks in the UAE get a taste of digital assets without needing a PhD in cryptography. The goal is “simplified and compliant” pathways, because nothing says excitement like regulated crypto-like a rollercoaster with seatbelts. 🎢💼

The SEC filing of November 14 tells a tale of subtraction. Lombard Odier, once a tenant of 3,334,000 shares, now holds 1,716,000. The value of the position, $11.07 million as of September 30, 2025, is a shadow of its former self. The market, ever the fickle lover, has seen its worth dwindle, and the fund has adjusted its course accordingly.
Behold, the Designated Contract Market license, a golden key that unlocks the gates to regulated prediction markets for the first time in this land. On the 10th day of December, Gemini Titan LLC, an affiliate of the crypto twins, received this divine decree after a five-year pilgrimage through the deserts of regulatory scrutiny. The CFTC, in its infinite wisdom, hath spoken, and lo, the people shall trade in yes-or-no markets, tied to the whims of price levels, corporate intrigues, and political theatrics.

Imagine, if you will, a man placing $10,000 in the hands of a broker, trusting the soil of the market to nourish his seed. Six months later, that seed has withered. The stock, once a sturdy oak, now stands gnarled and bent, its value a shadow of what it was. The man’s hands, calloused from labor, now clutch a meager yield of $8,769. A bitter harvest, this, where the wind of the market has blown hard and unkind.