Behold, the CoinGlass data reveals a total liquidation of $462,340 in 60 minutes-a sum so vast, it could buy a dozen golden retrievers! 🐶💰 The imbalance between long and short positions is as perplexing as a Russian novel’s ending. Longs lost $287,990, while shorts fared slightly better, though their plight is no less tragic. 🧨
Wall Street’s indexes have been climbing like they’re on a caffeine IV drip, but stock valuations? They’ve joined the party with a “swipe right” mentality. Lower interest rates and AI hype have created a bubble so shiny, investors are wearing blindfolds just to enjoy the glitter. But Powell? He’s the friend who ruins the vibe by whispering, “This glitter is actually glitter glue, and it’s about to dry on your shoes.”
December, that most pivotal of months, now teeters on the brink of regulatory upheaval under President Trump’s administration, which has shown the kind of crypto-favoring momentum usually reserved for a well-timed snowplow. The air crackles with the scent of staking rewards and legislative ambition.
Indeed, this Bitcoin, which promised riches beyond measure, has shed nearly a third of its former glory since reaching its peak in the month of October. Now languishing near the eighty thousand mark, it recalls the fate of countless ventures built upon the shifting sands of human hope. One cannot but observe, with a certain detached amusement, the scale of the disillusionment.
The transaction was made at a price of $11.35 per share, as reported on SEC Form 4. The total value of the transaction, calculated using the closing price on the day of the trade, was $3,083,653.12.
The observations of Santiment suggest that Chainlink occupies the foremost position by a most considerable margin, a testament to its pervasive influence within the Solana-based schemes. Solana itself is relegated to second place in this pursuit of improvement, followed by Wormhole – a messaging protocol of some import, it would seem, in the transfer of funds ‘twixt various networks.
Once cloaked in mystery, the regulated crypto path now has a new visitor. Grayscale, the old fox, nods and files its Form 8-A on Nov. 21, as if to say, “Look, we’re serious, or at least pretending to be.” The shares, with their shiny new designation ‘GDOG,’ are to be revealed on or around November 24, 2025, like a secret kept underground just a little bit longer.
Roman Storm, co-founder of Tornado Cash, a tool that promises privacy in the Wild West of cryptocurrency, found himself in hot water. On August 6, 2025, a jury declared him guilty of running an unlicensed money transfer business-a crime as exciting as it sounds. But wait! The same jury couldn’t agree on whether he laundered money or broke sanctions. So, is he a Robin Hood of the blockchain or just a cog in the machine of digital mischief? 🕵️♂️💸
In the enchanted forest of global finance, stablecoins have been creeping up from the shadows, waving thanks to both wizards and tailcoats from Visa. According to the wise Merrick Theobald, the stablecoins, those mysterious potions, have more adventure drawn from the scrolls of regulating sages.
Now, this bill doesn’t just nudge IT management, tech support, and cybersecurity providers with a polite finger. No, no, it tells them they’ll have to meet the same security standards as critical infrastructure. Because apparently, it’s not enough to just not get hacked-your network needs to be Fort Knox-level secure. And if you fail? Well, don’t worry, the penalty will be tied to your company’s turnover, which is sure to make CEOs sweat. 💸
