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Nvidia is much more than just a chipmaker that makes graphics processing units (GPUs). It is the company whose ecosystem is most responsible for powering the current artificial intelligence (AI) revolution that is taking place. Imagine, if you will, a realm where silicon is the new magic, and Nvidia is the Archchancellor of the Unseen University of Coders, brewing potions of processing power with a flick of its digital wand.

This week, its shares surged over 9%, not from revelation, but from the mechanical clatter of news-a European partnership, analyst nods-and the market’s reflexive twitch to assign value where none yet exists. It is the old alchemy: take raw ambition, sprinkle it with technical jargon, and call it progress.

Let’s set the scene: Mexico City, a room full of skeptics, and Viasat proving their tech works. Picture this-a satellite-connected Android phone texting a regular cellphone. It’s like watching a carrier pigeon deliver a scroll to a Wi-Fi router. And for the grand finale? The HMD Offgrid, a device so rugged it probably survives both nuclear winters and your Aunt Karen’s coffee table.

Analysts, those modern-day soothsayers, have spoken. Bank of America’s Vivek Arya raised his target to $1,300-a 30% leap-as if wagering on the wind’s direction. Stifel’s Brian Chin, ever the pragmatist, nudged his estimate to $1,050. Their words hang in the air like incense in a cathedral, sacred yet ephemeral. Both men cite the same gospel: memory chips and AI will save us all. Or at least the shareholders.

Nirgunan Tiruchelvam, the analyst with a sharper tongue than a switchblade, sliced his Jumia rating from buy to sell. His price target? $7.50-a number that now glows like a tombstone in the fog of $10.75. He’s not wrong to question the company’s net working capital. It’s a house built on sand, and the tide’s coming in fast.

When the Russian economy found itself in a financial straitjacket following its… ahem… enthusiastic geopolitical gestures, Yandex, that once-ubiquitous digital titan, found its Western ambitions curtailed. Thus, from the ashes of delisting emerged Nebius Group, a phoenix with a penchant for GPUs and a new lease on life in the West. One might call it a metamorphosis, were it not for the scent of desperation clinging to the wings.

The broader market’s recent antics have left Bitcoin in their wake like a small boat tossed by a rogue wave of economic anxiety. While this correlation is not new, its recent intensification has investors clutching their wallets like a child clutching a security blanket during a thunderstorm. The question is not whether Bitcoin mirrors the market’s mood swings, but whether anyone truly understands why either exists in the first place. (Though I suspect the answer lies in a spreadsheet buried somewhere in a server farm, written in a language only a computer could love.)