As the days drift by, attention shifts to the delicate dance of structure and momentum, pondering which layer-1 darling might burst forth from this price prison first. Why, it could be the breakout that sends us all into a frenzy of euphoric speculation! 🎉
Yet, faint glimmers pierce the gloom: the nascent ascension of UPS at the dawn of 2026, a tentative 9% ascent in merely six days, heralds not resurrection, but perhaps the faintest whisper of a mirage. The stock, after bottoming out just three moons ago, has climbed an uncanny 32%, while analysts-those custodians of narratives-have raised their price targets as if to cast a spell of hope. The dividend, a tantalizing 6.1%, promises a semblance of tangible wealth-a faltering beacon amid the swirling fog of uncertainty-yet even this is but a side show in the grand absurdity of the enterprise.
This is the same price that made King Midas weep.
Geopolitics, dear reader, and a thousand whispers in the market’s corridors: the price stays high, but something fragile giggles behind the curtain-the triple bearish omen that may coax BTC down to around 70,000.
Transaction value based on SEC Form 4-reported price ($9.21); post-transaction value based on the SEC-reported holding and the trade-date close price. (Because, of course, the moment you calculate a number, the market moves, rendering it fiction. But it’s fiction with a decimal point, so we treat it with respect.)
In a chart shared with his 700,000 followers (probably after a 3AM espresso), Brandt circled a “breakout setup” like a hawk spotting a mouse-except the mouse is $719.43 and it’s got zero interest in not getting pounced. 🦅💸 “It’s been a chronic underperformer for years,” he admitted, “but now? It’s either about to go full dragon or collapse under the weight of its own expectations!” 🐉💣
While the investing universe teems with ETFs-each promising the secrets of the universe-a particular Vanguard fund has caught the eye of those who think “markets outperform” sounds less like a gamble and more like a sensible gamble. With a bit of patience and consistent effort, this ETF might just turn your modest $100 monthly habit into a small fortune approaching $1 million. Enough to buy a modest yacht, or at least a very nice kayak. Here’s how.
As enigmatic portfolio holders examine the performance of their holdings from the previous year and ponder adjustments for the morrow, a familiar query rises again with the subtlety of an old ghost peering through a dusty windowpane: Ought one retract from the clutches of Bitcoin mining equities to hoard more of Bitcoin in its raw essence?
In a world where volatility is not just a term but a cruel master 🌪️💸, decentralization has become a mantra, chanted more fervently than accurately. Once, pioneers of blockchain envisioned a hymn of miners toiling in egalitarian glories; now, it’s sprawling mining empires and boardrooms of be-suited ideologues. Are DAOs the futile children of this dream, or are centralized teams just wolves in sheep’s fleece?
Mr. Changpeng Zhao, commonly known in the mercantile circles as CZ, founder of the esteemed house of Binance, hath spoken with a confidence most audacious that a “super cycle” approacheth Bitcoin and the wider realm of cryptocurrency. In a communication recent and spirited, he did remark upon the sign of U.S. banks increasing their Bitcoin holdings, even as retailers trembled and sold in panic-an ironic dance indeed, like ladies and gentlemen at a ball who pretend to be serene while their fans flutter with excitement. For instance, Wells Fargo did reveal a purchase of Bitcoin ETF shares valued at a respectable $383 million, which one might label a boldly public display of institutional taste. I could be wrong, but Super Cycle incoming. – CZ 🔶 BNB (@cz_binance)
