The fall was so dramatic, it would’ve made Pushkin weep. In mere hours, $650 million in positions liquidated like a poorly kept secret-390% more than the previous 24! A cakewalk for the bears, one would say, if bears wore top hats and smoked imperial cigars. 🐻🎩
Ripple’s Singapore offshoot, the oh-so-chic Ripple Markets APAC, has been blessed by the Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) to broaden its regulated payment activities under its Major Payment Institution (MPI) license. How très chic! The announcement, made on Monday (of course, one must always start the week with a bang), has sent ripples (pun intended) through the crypto cosmos.
Pray, let us examine the particulars of this rather scandalous affair.
Pyongyang’s researchers have apparently mastered the art of smuggling NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2700 graphics cards-those sleek, powerful relics of the West-into their AI labs, likely under the guise of “diplomatic gifts.” These GPUs now power projects focused on pattern recognition, speech processing, and data optimization. One wonders if the North Koreans have also optimized their ability to avoid paying taxes.
In the autumn of 2023, a document filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission revealed a revelation: Schusterman Interests had, in the third quarter, acquired 1.9 million shares of HeartFlow, a sum valued at $65.3 million. This act, though modest in the grand tapestry of global finance, carries the weight of intention. The shares, now a fourth-largest holding in the fund’s portfolio, are not merely numbers on a ledger but symbols of faith in a technology that promises to revolutionize the diagnosis of coronary ailments. As of September 30, the stake accounted for 14.9% of the fund’s assets, a testament to the family’s conviction.
The funds will go to relief teams-because nothing rebuilds a community faster than a few million in crypto-backed care packages. 🏗️✨
Let me explain how we got here. On November 14, Stadium Capital filed a document with the SEC that basically said, “We’re out.” They sold every last one of their 877,860 shares. That’s like throwing a party and then leaving before the cake’s even cut. Or maybe they just finally read the fine print on Grocery Outlet’s business plan: “We sell expired soup and hope nobody notices.”
The Securities and Exchange Commission received a filing on November 14, its language as sterile as a coroner’s report. Stadium Capital Management had liquidated 61,700 GitLab shares during Q3, reducing its stake to 84,683 shares valued at $3.8 million. The transaction shaved $2.8 million from the position’s worth-a subtraction that speaks louder than any quarterly letter.
On the 1-hour chart, behold! A mighty uptrend emerges from the depths, starting around the 22nd like a gallant hero emerging from the fog of obscurity. With a noble series of higher highs and higher lows, our brave asset marches through the 24th, as if saying, “Fear not, for I shall rise!” These candles-tall, proud, and full of bullish conviction-stand like soldiers at attention, confirming the momentum of our market warriors. 🏆
Cristiano Castro, BlackRock’s director of business development in Brazil, announced this at a Blockchain Conference. He called it “a big surprise” and admitted they were optimistic but “didn’t expect this scale.” Classic. 🤷♂️
