Chase Coleman, a man who seems to have momentarily outwitted the market’s capricious gods – a feat most achieve only in dreams, or through suspiciously timed inside information – has allocated a substantial portion of his portfolio to the shimmering mirage that is artificial intelligence. A full twenty percent, if one is to believe the reports. A bold move, or a desperate gamble against the inevitable heat death of the universe? One wonders. The S&P 500, a creature of habit and predictable anxieties, was left trailing in his wake, a mere footnote to his three-year triumph. A hundred and one percentage points, they say. As if numbers truly mean anything in the grand cosmic farce.
Coleman, it appears, has placed his faith – and a considerable sum – in two titans: Alphabet and Microsoft. Eleven point two percent in the former, eight point nine in the latter. A prudent diversification, or a doubling down on the fashionable? He conspicuously avoids, however, the siren song of Palantir Technologies, a company promising to unlock the secrets of data itself. Perhaps Coleman possesses a healthy skepticism, a quality increasingly rare amongst those who traffic in speculative bubbles. Or perhaps he simply dislikes their marketing materials.
Alphabet: The Illusion of Continued Dominance
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Microsoft: The Pragmatist’s Play
While Alphabet stumbled, Microsoft, with the cold calculation of a seasoned bureaucrat, emerged as a leader. Their secret? A long-term partnership with OpenAI, secured in 2019. A simple act of foresight, or a cynical exploitation of another’s ingenuity? The line, as always, is blurred. Microsoft receives twenty percent of OpenAI’s revenue until 2032. A tidy sum. And Azure, their cloud computing platform, remains the exclusive host for OpenAI’s API calls. A captive audience, if ever there was one.
They’ve also granted Microsoft the exclusive right to incorporate OpenAI models into their “copilots” – conversational assistants for their software. Microsoft 365 Copilot seats rose by a staggering 160% in the past year. A testament to the power of marketing, or a genuine leap forward in productivity? One suspects the former. Morgan Stanley’s CIO survey ranks Azure as the most likely public cloud platform to gain market share. A predictable outcome, given the circumstances.
Earnings are expected to increase by thirteen percent annually. A valuation of twenty-six times earnings seems reasonable. But beware, dear reader. Concerns linger about AI coding tools replacing human programmers. A valid fear, perhaps, but likely overblown. The stock is twenty-six percent below its high, its steepest decline in a decade. An attractive opportunity, they say. But remember, the abyss gazes also into you.
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2026-03-18 11:13