The stock is down about fifty percent since that little bit of accounting magic. People say that happens. Like getting a flat tire or realizing you’ve worn mismatched shoes all day. It’s just…common. But it feels less ‘common’ and more ‘ominous’ when we’re talking about billions of dollars. Wall Street, it seems, is a bit twitchy. They’ve seen this movie before. A lot of bright ideas, a lot of capital, and then…well, then the laundry piles up.
The company, a phantom limb of the old Twitter, declared a pruning of its workforce – more than forty percent, a number that resonated with the echoes of ancient sacrifices. Dorsey, a man who often seemed to speak in riddles and pronouncements, attributed the cuts to the relentless advance of artificial intelligence. He spoke of a ‘smaller team, doing more,’ as if efficiency could truly fill the void left by vanished faces and silenced expertise. It was a curious logic, this belief that machines could replace the intangible qualities of human ingenuity – a notion that Tiberius dismissed with a wave of his hand and a knowing glance toward the rain-streaked window. The market, however, reacted with a peculiar enthusiasm, a collective sigh of relief that suggested it had been secretly yearning for this very reckoning.
So why all the fuss about Pippin, Decred, and Polkadot this month? Let’s break it down.
Units of Cryptocurrency Lost (so far): 0.5. Hours Spent Refreshing CoinMarketCap: 7. Number of Times I’ve Considered Taking Up Knitting: 4. I mean, I’m a long-term investor, or at least, I aspire to be. The plan was solid. Buy low, hold…forever? It’s starting to feel less like a plan and more like a desperate hope.
This, naturally, has prompted a spot of bother amongst the leading cryptocurrencies, including XRP (XRP 3.76%) and Ethereum (CRYPTO: ETH), who are now attempting to add a touch of privacy to their operations. But the question is, will these new features provide enough of a lift to warrant a jolly good investment? Let’s have a look, shall we?
Cardano is back, baby-and it’s not just here to fiddle with its smart contracts. No, no, no! It’s bringing the big guns: Google Cloud, Midnight, and USDCx. It’s like a tech prom, and Cardano’s the belle of the ball (or the nerd of the blockchain, depending on who you ask).
Three stocks warrant consideration: Microsoft (MSFT 2.17%), Amazon (AMZN +1.04%), and Meta Platforms (META 1.29%). Each has experienced a recent decline, and a pragmatic assessment suggests they may represent reasonable, if not exceptional, purchases at present prices.
It’s all terribly familiar, actually. Reminds me of the crypto boom. Remember that? It started as something slightly dodgy, hidden away in corners of the internet, and then, suddenly, everyone was talking about it. “Disruptive technology!” they cried. “The future of finance!” I mostly remember a lot of red candles.
But I’ll tell you what, I reckon the stock’s been knocked down a bit too hard. It’s like a good plow horse that’s stumbled – still got plenty of pullin’ left in it. Yes, they’re spendin’ a fortune, no denyin’ that. But when it comes to cloud computin’, Amazon’s the biggest, most seasoned operator in the whole blamed territory. They didn’t just stumble into this business; they built the road, if you catch my drift. And now, just when some folks thought the road was paved, it’s startin’ to hum with a new kind of energy.
This isn’t some casual stroll through the financial district; it’s a new position, representing 4.55% of Starboard’s 13F reportable assets. Four point five five percent! That’s like ordering a pizza and only getting half the toppings. A tragic amount, really. Speaking of which, let’s see what else Starboard’s been up to. Their top holdings, as of December 31, 2025, are: