Binance Junior App Goes Live, Allowing Kids and Teens to Build Crypto Portfolios

The newly birthed Binance Junior platform allows parents, those stalwart guardians of the young and tender, to open and manage crypto savings accounts for their progeny. These little ones-blessed with their own slice of digital wealth-may save and earn crypto through Binance’s “Flexible Simple Earn,” a system designed to keep their innocent hands away from the turbulent seas of trading, lest they be swept away by the merciless tides of market volatility. A parent’s dream, indeed-control, order, and digital wealth! 🤑

Polymarket’s Grand Return: A Tale of Regulation, Waitlists, and Sports 🎩📱

Polymarket, with a flourish most dramatic, proclaimed this Wednesday past that its American app is now alive and well, in a rollout as phased as a poorly choreographed country dance. Thus, it restores to the good people of this nation access to one of the world’s most esteemed prediction platforms, after an absence as protracted as a sermon on a rainy Sunday. In a missive on X, the company declared with no small measure of self-congratulation, “Against all odds. Polymarket’s U.S. app is now being rolled out to those on the waitlist. We’re launching with sports – followed by markets on everything.” 🏈💼

Core Scientific’s AI Pivot: A Cynic’s Take on VR’s $22M Bet

On November 14, VR Advisory Services, with the solemnity of a man choosing a hat, declared a new position in Core Scientific (CORZ +0.60%). This acquisition, valued at $21.7 million as of September 30, was filed with the SEC like a love letter to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. One might say the filing itself was the only thing profitable.

SEC Halts Crypto ETFs: Will ProShares Cave or Quit? 🚫💰

Earlier this month, ProShares, that audacious upstart, submitted amendments seeking approval for high-leverage ETFs designed to deliver triple the daily performance of major assets-cryptocurrencies and tech stocks alike. The SEC, with the gravitas of a prophet, responded with a letter as dense as a Dostoevskian tome, asserting that the funds violate Rule 18f-4, an Investment Company Act rule that limits leverage like a jailer confines a prisoner. 🚫

Michael Saylor Fights to Keep Bitcoin Firm in Global Stock Index – Will He succeed?

Now, as the MSCI Global Standard Indexes are pondering whether to give Strategy’s prized digital treasury assets (DATs) the boot, Saylor’s crew is busy chatting with the index folks – a bit like techie kids pleading with the teacher to keep them in the game, no matter how much they might be bending the rules. Reuters nicely reported on Wednesday that Strategy says they’re “engaging” in this process, which sounds either stubborn or strategically diplomatic – your pick. Meanwhile, JPMorgan has wet everyone’s appetite with a claim that if Strategy’s stock gets excluded, roughly $2.8 billion could evaporate faster than a snowman in July.

Amylyx’s Second Chance: A 150% Rally and 2026 Catalysts?

According to a filing with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission dated November 14, Commodore Capital LP disclosed a new stake in Amylyx Pharmaceuticals (AMLX +1.60%). The fund reported ownership of 4.1 million shares, equating to $55.4 million and 2.7% of its $2 billion in reportable equity holdings after the third quarter. Now, let’s pause for a second. A fund that’s worth $2 billion is now allocating 2.7% to a company with a $1.5 billion market cap. That’s like ordering a side of fries with your Big Mac. But hey, maybe they’re very hungry for a comeback.

Terns Pharmaceuticals: A 300% Surge That Smells Like a Carnival Sideshow 🎪

Let’s establish this upfront: Commodore Capital’s new position in Terns isn’t exactly a love letter. It’s more like a polite nod at a party where everyone’s shouting stock tips over jazz music. This 2.1% stake sits comfortably in the “also purchased” category, well behind their top five holdings, which include NASDAQ darlings like MRUS and NUVL. If this were a dinner party, Terns would be the guest seated next to the host’s eccentric uncle who insists he’s invented a time machine.

A Wildean Portfolio: Relay Therapeutics’ 60% Surge and the Alchemy of Biotech Investment

The SEC filing of November 14 reveals a tale not merely of numbers, but of conviction masquerading as arithmetic. Commodore’s stake swelled to 17 million shares, valued at $88.7 million – a position now constituting 4.3% of their U.S. equity portfolio. One might say they’ve traded the Philosopher’s Stone for a pipette and a supercomputer, seeking not gold but genetic enlightenment.