The fund, ever the stage manager, reported 70 total positions, a collection of investments as varied as the characters in a comedy of errors. Yet, this new act-ACM Research-drew the spotlight, representing 2.66% of Seldon’s 13F AUM, a percentage as significant as a soliloquy in a farce.
As recorded in the sacred scrolls of the Securities and Exchange Commission, our protagonists at 4D Advisors concluded their dalliance with Masimo by casting off 45,000 shares into the void. This liquidation, valued at approximately $7,569,900, was executed with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel-or perhaps a fleeing actor’s haste from a collapsing stage set.
In his appearance on Crypto Prime, McClurg explained that the XRP Ledger is not a digital currency like Bitcoin or Ethereum, but rather a financial network designed to move money across the globe quickly and affordably. Imagine Western Union on steroids-or, for the more sophisticated reader, a highly efficient international banking system. 💰🚀
Bybit and some people called Block Scholes (sounds very Bond villain, doesn’t it?) have produced a report suggesting Bitcoin tried to, like, bounce back this month. Bless its heart. It didn’t work. It immediately went back to sulking in a very tight range. Weak confidence? You don’t say! 🤷♀️
Teresa Goody Guillén – and honestly, a name like that has to be good – has insisted the whole thing was terribly… proper. Multi-step review, involving the Justice Department and White House lawyers. Apparently, there’s paperwork. Who knew? 🤷♀️
While most altcoins are sulking in the corner with participation trophies, Pi Network’s PI is giving everyone the side-eye. 5% up since Sunday, you say? That’s breaking the rules of the slump like, what, does it not know crypto is in a midlife crisis? 🤷♀️ricks.
The Central Bank of Brazil has, at last, deigned to finalize regulations tackling virtual asset service providers (VASPs) and stablecoin transactions, establishing the rules these entities must follow to operate within its borders. Really, as if they hadn’t enough to worry about.
Kuo Zhang, said to be a president at Alibaba.com, declared to CNBC that tokenized fiat shall “simplify” payments. A bold lie! For who but merchants in 2015 dare to ” унифицировать” (unify) anything? Meanwhile, Agentic Pay-AI’s latest masquerade-shall automate settlements with “smart contracts.” Why, it’s like asking a goat to herd lawyers! Launch date? Who needs one when you’re selling hope in algorithmic coupons?
Behold, Dogecoin (DOGE) whispers of a recovery, having kissed the major support at $0.16, as though it were a long-lost friend. 🥺