The announcement arrives with the air of a whispered tip about a secret shortcut-no grand policy, no corporate papyrus, merely a local clerk with a twinkle and a calculator that refuses to sleep. One suspects the idea grew in the margins of the store, watered by caffeine and the tremulous hope that commerce might be saved by a lightning bolt. ⚡️
Here’s the list, starting with the brightest spark and ending with the one that’s looking a bit dim. The numbers come from some very serious people at LSEG, on the 14th of January, so don’t go blaming us if things change tomorrow.
With the 2026 FIFA World Cup looming like a giant, shiny trophy, fan token interest is back with a vengeance. CHZ, being the clever little scamp it is, has seized the moment with the gusto of a dwarf at a beer festival. 🎉 Instead of fizzling out like a damp firework, it’s holding steady above old resistance levels, painting a picture as bullish as a charging rhinoceros.
Now, a split doesn’t create value, you understand. It’s a bit like rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic – it might make things seem tidier, but it doesn’t alter the ship’s ultimate destination. However, it does create a psychological effect. A lower price feels cheaper, even if the underlying worth remains unchanged. And human beings, bless their illogical hearts, are remarkably susceptible to feeling.
The comparison to Starbucks, that established titan of the caffeinated world, is inevitable, though perhaps not entirely apt. Starbucks, with its polished interiors and carefully curated ambiance, offers a destination, a respite. Dutch Bros, however, is a fleeting encounter, a transaction conducted from the shelter of one’s own carriage. It is a difference not merely of architecture, but of ethos.
The crypto-linked credit card, once a thorny vine, now bears a peculiar fruit in Argentina.
Agentic AI isn’t about robots developing existential crises. It’s about programs that, once given a task within their rather limited understanding of the universe, can simply… do it. Autonomously. With minimal human supervision. Think of it as a particularly diligent (and utterly lacking in imagination) apprentice who never asks for a raise.1
TSMC expects this… surge to continue. First-quarter revenue projected to be between $34.6 and $35.8 billion. A 38% increase. One wonders if they are not secretly building a second moon, powered entirely by these chips.
Nvidia, the name itself now echoing with the weight of expectation, had risen from the obscurity of graphics cards to become the architect of this new reality. A decade ago, a modest investment of ten thousand dollars in its shares would have blossomed into a fortune exceeding two and a half million, a transformation so complete it felt like alchemy. But the question now, whispered in the cool, dark spaces between data centers, was not whether such miracles could happen, but whether they could be repeated. The ghosts of past booms – of railroads and dot-coms – danced in the flickering light of the screens, reminding everyone that even the most dazzling constellations eventually fade.
Thus, the gates of institutional legitimacy creak open wider-though, amusingly, ADA, LINK, and XLM barely blinked at the news. Perhaps they were too busy napping. 💤