In a recent X post, Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin announced that Ethereum is undergoing a transformation-not just in speed, but in its very soul. PeerDAS has hit the mainnet, and ZK-EVMs have reached performance levels worthy of a Broadway show, even if they’re still in rehearsal. 🎬
Ripple divulged, with all the subtlety of Proust’s memories, that the venerable David Schwartz, whose tenure outlasted several of our era’s bitcoins, has indeed retired to a less quotidian pastime. As of the end of December 2025, his work-life metamorphosis led him to adopt the appellation CTO Emeritus.
The 1-year price performance, calculated to the day of Mr. Schingler’s sale, reads like a fever chart of speculative excess.
So, “safe havens” became the buzzword du jour. Everyone’s running around like, “Where’s the lifeboat?!” And wouldn’t you know it-gold (XAU), that old grandpa of assets, dusts off his orthopedic shoes and sprints up 65% to $4,500. A record! Grandpa’s got moves! 💃👴
The third-quarter filing disclosed the acquisition, which now values the position at $11.88 million. This incremental step-a small corner of Onex Canada’s $786 million portfolio-is either a sign of quiet confidence or a bet against the current trends.
A tapestry of metrics unfurls: the annual fee, a minuscule fraction of assets, serving as a silent arbiter of fiscal prudence; the AUM, a monument to institutional gravitas; the beta, a metronome of market alignment. The investor, perched on the precipice of choice, must weigh these subtleties against the grander symphony of performance.
Kiyosaki, ever the Cassandra of capitalism, spent the year sketching a grim portrait of global markets teetering on the edge of disaster. His dire predictions, delivered with the gravitas of a man who’s seen it all (or at least written about it), painted 2026 as the year the house of cards finally collapses. And bitcoin? Well, bitcoin was his chosen lifeline.
Good ol’ Donald Trump (yeah, he’s still around) announced that his Delta Force buddies pulled off a raid near Caracas, grabbed Maduro and his wife, and flew them out like it was a bad Netflix movie. 🎬 The operation was so quick, Maduro probably didn’t even finish his arepa. Meanwhile, Polymarket traders were like, “Cha-ching!” 💸
Nevertheless, the company has been encumbered by certain complications throughout the preceding year, primarily concerning its sales to the Chinese market. The United States, in a rather stringent display of caution, imposed export controls on semiconductor technology destined for that nation, resulting in a staggering billion-dollar charge for Nvidia, reflective of unsold inventory. The astute Jensen Huang, chief of Nvidia, has articulated that the potential of China’s AI chip market could amount to hundreds of billions by decade’s end-a tantalizing opportunity that no prudent chip manufacturer would wish to forgo.
$76 million vanished across 26 incidents-a modest sum for the modern robber barons, but a drop in the ocean compared to November’s feast. The largest heist? A $50 million address-poisoning scam, where hackers played dress-up with wallet addresses like a digital game of “guess the password” (spoiler: it’s “I’m a scammer, duh”).