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The stock has, apparently, soared. 591% in three years. Which is…a lot. It makes you wonder if everyone else knows something you don’t. Or if it’s just…a bubble. I’m leaning towards the bubble. I’m always leaning towards the bubble. It feels safer. Anyway, despite the impressive numbers, I’m not touching it. Not with a ten-foot pole. Or even a very long selfie stick. Here’s why. It’s a list, because lists are helpful when you’re on the verge of a financial breakdown.

The acquisition of Rhode, a skincare brand with a certain fashionable appeal, suggests a strategic attempt to broaden its reach. Whether this proves a sound investment remains to be seen, but it is a move that deserves scrutiny.

However, the turning of the year – 2025, to be precise – witnessed a subtle shift in the currents. A changing of the guard, if you will. Broadcom (AVGO 1.61%) stock, with a quiet efficiency that would make a dwarven accountant proud, began to outpace Nvidia, rising 49% compared to Nvidia’s 39%. One might assume this was mere market fluctuation, a whimsical dance of numbers. But, as any seasoned macro strategist (and, indeed, any moderately observant troll) knows, such movements rarely occur in a vacuum. Let us delve into the reasons why Broadcom is gaining ground, and why I suspect this trend will not only continue but accelerate in 2026.

I’ve been staring at the numbers for VWO and ACWX, and it’s all remarkably…beige. Both are, essentially, ways to avoid having to actually think about where your money is. VWO, the more focused of the two, dives headfirst into what they call “emerging markets.” Think China, Brazil, places where the economic forecast involves a lot of exclamation points and question marks. ACWX is the broader option, a sort of global buffet of non-U.S. stocks. It’s like ordering everything on the menu, hoping something will taste good. The expense ratio on VWO (0.07%) is almost suspiciously low, like they’re giving it away just to watch us worry. ACWX, at 0.32%, feels more honest – they’re admitting they’re taking a cut. The one-year returns? Both did pretty well, but honestly, everything did well last year. It feels like celebrating a good hair day during a hurricane.

As of this writing – a fleeting moment in the infinite regression of time – the stock has advanced approximately 11% in the current cycle of the sun. This is, of course, merely a numerical coincidence, a glyph in a language we have yet to fully decipher. To assume it signifies invulnerability would be to fall prey to the very illusions the market delights in constructing.

Now, as 2026 dawns, a strange luminescence flickers on the horizon. The currents of capital, restless and ancient, are shifting once more. The whispers among the traders speak of a resurgence, a possible reawakening of the fortunes lost in the previous cycle. It is not a certainty, of course. The future rarely adheres to the neat predictions of men, but certain constellations of factors suggest that a few digital assets may yet defy the gravity of disappointment. The market, after all, is a capricious god, and its favors are rarely bestowed upon the undeserving.

Tesla operates under a peculiar set of gravitational rules, a different calculus of communication. While most corporations adhere to the pedestrian mantra of “underpromise and overdeliver,” Tesla seems to prefer a more…impressionistic approach. Management, when issuing pronouncements, is held to account with a severity disproportionate to the infraction, as if forecasting the future were a binding contract. Investors, those meticulous lepidopterists of the market, judge the company not on what it achieves, but on the precise millimeter of deviation from its initial projections. A curious habit, wouldn’t you agree?

Dividend-paying equities, therefore, appeal. Particularly when coupled with a reinvestment scheme – a device which allows one to forget entirely about the transaction, save for the semi-annual arrival of a modest increment to one’s account. A rather civilized arrangement, wouldn’t you agree?