Cryptollica’s latest X post is basically a love letter to HODL Bank, which I’m pretty sure is just a fancy name for “the money you forgot you spent on Bitcoin in 2017.” Their Reserve Risk metric is like a dating app for crypto: if the price is low compared to your HODL Bank, you’re in the green (value zone). If it’s high? You’re in the red, like your Netflix bill after a pandemic binge. 🚨
And who are the culprits behind this tragedy? The investors, of course, with their itchy sell buttons, ready to abandon ship at the first sign of trouble. Yet, whispers of an XRP ETF approval linger in the air, a potential savior or just another mirage in the crypto desert? 🌵🤔
They’re finally acting like adults. XRP’s liquidity distribution, regulatory clarity, and cross-border utility have elevated it from “meh” to “maybe,” according to the report. A small victory in the war against Bitcoin’s dominance. 🛡️
Third quarter updates, everyone. Darlington, that ever-enthusiastic California-based fund, now owns 5.1 million shares of Lineage-worth a tidy $198.3 million. That’s 6.7% of their $3 billion reportable U.S. equity assets. I’m not sure if this makes them a “belly of the beast” kind of investor or just someone who’s really into ice cubes. Either way, they’ve got a knack for betting on things that sound like they belong in a middle-school science fair. “Temperature-controlled warehousing,” you say? Sounds like a recipe for a lukewarm cup of coffee.
According to some smarty-pants at Shibburn, a whopping 17,290,166 SHIB vanished into the abyss-an eye-popping 1090.34% increase in burn rate! That’s more than we burn on Thanksgiving-literally! And if you think that’s wild, over the past week, a mere 227,892,499 SHIB got burned, but that’s down 64.48% from last week-talk about inconsistency, right? 🤷♂️
According to a filing with the SEC, Darlington’s third-quarter maneuver has swelled its stake in Shift4 to 5.1 million shares, valued at a princely $392.6 million. This represents 13.3% of the fund’s $3 billion in reportable U.S. equity assets-a bet as bold as it is peculiar, given the stock’s 30% plunge over the past year. One might say the fund has adopted the logic of a miser who doubles his hoard precisely when the coins grow dusty and the casks of wine turn sour.
The crypto market, a mirror to our souls, showed no signs of recovery on Tuesday. Bitcoin, that digital Prometheus, traded at $91,400, while Ether lingered around $3,060. The Fear and Greed Index, now a paltry 15/100, whispers of April’s ghosts, when Bitcoin defied the bears and soared to $100,000 from $76,000 in a month. Ah, the sweet madness of it all! 🦋💥
A Swiss bank (because of course) somehow managed to get a crypto license in Hong Kong. Congrats, you’re now the first international bank to offer “institutional-grade” crypto services. Groundbreaking stuff. Or is it? 🤡
But wait! Bitwise already stole the early lead with $450 million in BSOL. Grayscale’s slithering in too, because why not? 🐍 And now VanEck’s throwing a zero-fee bait-and-switch with VSOL-free for the first $1B, but don’t worry, you’ll pay later. Classic. 🤑💸
According to a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, released with the solemnity of a society announcement, Armistice Capital parted with nearly 2.2 million shares of Travere Therapeutics during the third quarter. The post-transaction holding, a modest 6.7 million shares, was valued at a tidy $160.7 million as of September 30. One might imagine the fund’s directors, in their opulent boardroom, murmuring about the need for a little diversification.
