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Robinhood. The name itself is a little much, don’t you think? Like they’re single-handedly solving wealth inequality. It’s an app. A perfectly functional, if slightly condescending, app. They’ve had a good couple of years, sure. Everyone was home, bored, and suddenly decided they were day traders. Which, by the way, is a terrible idea. But they made money off it. Good for them. The problem is, can they keep it up? They’re trading at a valuation that suggests they’ve discovered the secret to alchemy. It’s preposterous.

Yet, to pronounce the demise of this industry is to misunderstand the enduring nature of human need. The whispers of “peak oil,” a notion that consumption would inevitably wane, have proven premature, pushed back, like a stubborn winter, to the year 2050. The International Energy Agency, along with the venerable OPEC, and even the pragmatic minds at ExxonMobil, concur. Oil, it seems, will remain a necessity for decades to come, a truth that casts a long shadow upon the ambitions of those who champion a swift transition to renewable sources. BP, formerly British Petroleum, stands as a curious exemplar of this protracted struggle, a company attempting to navigate the treacherous currents of change while still clinging to the foundations of its past.

TSMC, currently valued at a sum that would make even the most enthusiastic goblin accountant blush, has become something of a keystone in the archway of modern technology. After a rather exuberant 2025 – a year where the numbers seemed to be actively mocking the laws of arithmetic – it’s a member of that exclusive club of companies worth more than a small country. Which, come to think of it, isn’t entirely dissimilar. A company, essentially, is a nation, just one built on the worship of profit and the relentless pursuit of smaller transistors. The question isn’t so much whether it’s a good investment, but whether you’re comfortable owning a slice of that particular kingdom.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are reasons. Rising interest rates, a pandemic that briefly turned all retail into a Zoom meeting… it’s been a tough room. But I’ve got a feeling… a strong feeling… that 2026 is going to be different. So, I’m laying it all on the line. Three bold predictions. And when I say bold, I mean… well, let’s just say I’ve made more accurate predictions by throwing darts at a stock ticker. But here we go!

The conventional approach, naturally, involves the direct participation in the act of extraction. Newmont, a name echoing with the weight of geological endeavor, presents itself as a logical, if not entirely reassuring, option. Its recent performance, exceeding that of the metal itself, suggests a temporary mastery over the forces governing this particular market. However, such triumphs are rarely sustained. The very act of wresting value from the earth is fraught with complications, a perpetual negotiation with the intractable laws of nature and the equally intractable demands of bureaucracy.

They’d been rather boastful, outperforming the market for years, but then the market had a bit of a growth spurt in 2025. A bit rude, really. Now, after a small dip – 10% and 14%, to be precise – these two magnificent companies look rather tempting indeed, like plums just waiting to be picked.

Let’s face it, Amazon became a household name by delivering everything from aardvarks to zithers right to your doorstep. Convenience! It was revolutionary! They were losing money hand over fist, but nobody cared! They were too busy ordering inflatable flamingos! Now, they’re finally figuring out that maybe, just maybe, they should try to make a profit. They’ve been throwing money at robots, automating everything. It’s a little scary, frankly. All those robots… coming for our jobs… but hey, at least the packages will arrive on time! Morgan Stanley says this robotic revolution could save them four billion dollars. Four billion! That’s enough to buy a small country! Or a really big collection of inflatable flamingos.

The surge, naturally, followed a brief stumble. An analyst, one Philip Gibbs of Keybanc, deemed the stock “fairly valued,” a phrase that, translated from bureaucrat-speak, means “the easy money has been made.” He fretted about catalysts and shifting product mixes – concerns as predictable as the rising and setting of industrial quotas. Shares, having already enjoyed a 50% ascent in six months, seemed to have absorbed all the optimism the market could muster. A perfectly reasonable observation, though one that conveniently ignores the enduring human capacity for irrational exuberance.