So, CoreWeave (CRWV +9.44%) popped today. It always feels a little… presumptive, doesn’t it? Like watching a particularly hopeful houseplant suddenly sprout a bloom. I wasn’t entirely surprised, though. Oracle (ORCL +9.32%) reported earnings last night, and apparently, someone is still buying all this cloud infrastructure. Which is good. For them, mostly. And, by extension, for companies like CoreWeave and Nebius, who are banking on the same basic premise: that someone, somewhere, needs a lot of computing power. My uncle, bless his heart, still thinks the cloud is just a fancy way to lose photos. He’s not wrong, entirely.
CoreWeave ended up 9.4% higher, and Oracle jumped 9.2%. It’s the kind of percentage that makes you briefly consider a career change. Maybe alpaca farming. Less volatile. Although, I suppose alpaca feed prices are subject to market forces, too. Everything is, isn’t it?
Good News for Oracle is…Complicated
There was a lot of skepticism surrounding Oracle. The stock had taken a proper tumble, down more than 50% from its peak. People were starting to wonder if this whole AI data center thing was a bit…overdone. Like a fruitcake nobody actually wants. But then, they reported 84% growth in cloud infrastructure – $4.9 billion, which is a lot of billions – and a backlog of $553 billion. Apparently, OpenAI is a big fan. Which, you know, makes sense. They’re building a robot that writes better essays than I do.
Overall revenue was up 22% to $17.2 billion, beating expectations. And adjusted earnings per share rose 21% to $1.79. My neighbor, a retired accountant, would be thrilled. I just try to avoid discussing finances with him. He starts talking about amortization schedules, and my eyes glaze over. It’s not a pleasant look.
What it Means for CoreWeave (and My Portfolio)
CoreWeave is playing the same high-risk game as Oracle. They’re sinking billions into AI data centers, hoping someone will rent computing power. It’s a bold move, bordering on reckless. I’ve seen more sensible bets at a church raffle. But here’s the thing: if it works, the upside is enormous. If it doesn’t… well, let’s just say I’ll be spending a lot more time with my uncle and his lost photos.
The stock has been incredibly volatile, which is… stressful. I try to tell myself it’s just a number on a screen, but then I remember I’m actually invested in it, and the stress returns. I’ve started taking up birdwatching as a coping mechanism. It’s surprisingly effective. Although, even the birds seem to judge my financial decisions.
Oracle’s update does offer a glimmer of hope. It suggests that someone, somewhere, is actually willing to pay for all this computing power. Which, for CoreWeave, is a good thing. It doesn’t guarantee success, of course. But it does mean I can postpone the alpaca farm research. For now.
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2026-03-12 00:42