Gold’s performance this year might be described as a sonnet-measured, elegant, and yielding a 60% return. Bitcoin, by contrast, offers us a pantomime: a 17% rise, impressive only when compared to the S&P 500’s modest 14%. One might marvel at this contest between substance and spectacle, between a king and a pretender clad in algorithmic finery.
Speaking at the World Bank and IMF shindig in Washington, DC, Malhotra delivered a speech so passionate, you’d think he’d just discovered the concept of “money” for the first time. “Stablecoins? They’re just the cryptocurrency version of a teething baby-seemingly stable, but one misstep and everything collapses,” he declared. 🤢
On that fateful date, the telecom titan would unveil its quarterly ledger before the court of Wall Street, a ritual as old as the first telegraph wires that once stitched continents together. But the omens were tangled: a CEO anointed mere weeks prior, Dan Schulman, whose departure from PayPal had left whispers of digital alchemy in its wake, now tasked with reviving a colossus whose shares had slumped 30% over five years-a decline as relentless as desert sands burying an ancient ruin.
Their charter application claims they’ll cater to the “innovation economy”-a phrase that sounds like a Silicon Valley butler serving canapés to robots. 🤖 Their target clientele? Crypto enthusiasts, AI overlords, defense contractors, and manufacturers. A cozy cocktail party waiting to happen.
And what of the altcoins, those faithful companions in this grand farce? They too are bathed in the crimson hue of loss. Ethereum, once proud, now slinks below $4,000, while XRP clings desperately to $2.40, its dignity in tatters. The double-digit losers-ASTER, ZEC, IP-they are but footnotes in this tragic comedy, their names etched in the ledger of woe. 📉
Anyway, here’s one you might want to consider – CRISPR Therapeutics (CRSP). The market cap is $6.2 billion, which, in the world of biotech, isn’t exactly “huge,” but it’s certainly enough to stir up some interest. Here’s the kicker: they’ve got a product that’s already approved. So while it’s not making any big money yet, there’s room for that – or at least, that’s what they want you to think.
Why the buzz? Well, Alphabet’s Google Search and Google Cloud businesses, which have long been cash cows, are increasingly bolstered by AI. And, as any seasoned Wall Street analyst will tell you, AI isn’t just a buzzword anymore. It’s driving revenue growth in a way few could have predicted. Alphabet’s Q3 results might just serve as a catalyst for its stock, which remains curiously affordable compared to its peers.
Fresh on-chain data and a familiar pattern of momentum are suggesting that this decline may, in fact, be running out of steam. Sounds like a plot twist, doesn’t it?
Imagine, dear reader, a merciful whisper of salvation. No longer must intrepid issuers fend for themselves in the labyrinthine enigma of technical trials and regulatory dilemmas. Instead, they are now ushered with a silken hand into a hallowed hall where Coinbase’s Listings Team awaits: an entourage of luminaries offering personalized guidance, like benevolent deities descending from their digital Olympus. Alas! What relief it would be-a guard, a mentor, a comrade to navigate through treacherous waters, from inception to execution. 🌟
“At 3:12 PM EST, a spot of bother occurred during an internal transfer,” Paxos chirped on X, as if announcing tea time. “We promptly identified the gaffe and set the excess PYUSD ablaze.” 🔥📢
