On Thursday, the U.S. Senate, in a dazzling display of bureaucratic efficiency, confirmed Michael Selig as Chairman of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC). This marks the end of a leadership vacuum that had left the agency wandering aimlessly like a lost tourist in Times Square.
This isn’t some reckless shopping spree, oh no! It’s a sneaky game of chess by the crypto whales, shuffling billions like a deck of cards while the market flutters nervously. The big spender made a teeny test transfer first, just 0.01 BTC – probably to make sure everything worked flawlessly. Classic, right? Next thing you know, off went the treasure chest, carrying 5,152 BTC, valued at nearly half a billion dollars. Talk about a ‘hold my drink’ moment! 🍹
Behold, a solitary miner of humble means, with a grin as wide as a peasant who’s just outwitted the tsar’s tax collectors, hath turned a mere 100 silver rubles into a glittering hoard of 3.152 BTC-nay, a fortune of $271,000! 🤯 This daring soul, armed with rented hashpower from NiceHash’s EasyMining (a tool for the … Read more
They say this move could unleash about $120 million – a pittance in the grand scheme of finance, but enough to make some whales snort in delight- to turbocharge listings, liquidity, and incentives. The community is divided: some champions see it as a rocket, others warn it’s a possible avalanche of governance chaos and tokenomic Pandora’s box. Who knew fiat-like stability could be so controversial?
Now, Coinbase Global Inc., bless their entrepreneurial hearts, has decided to take these states to task. They’re claimin’ these prediction markets are best left to the fellas at the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, and not fiddled with by state fellas lookin’ for a cut. Seems a fair enough request, wouldn’t you say?
With a daring flourish, the total crypto market capitalization, as if waking from a deep slumber, rose a meager 0.4% to $3.02 trillion. Yet, the price action across the pivotal digital tokens remained as tight as a well-woven corset. Bitcoin, that elusive rogue, stood at $86,724 at press time, ascending a mere 0.3% over the past 24 hours. Large-cap assets shuffled about, with Solana trudging a modest 0.1% to $122, Monero slipping a mournful 1.1% to $421, while World Liberty Financial pirouetted impressively, rising 3% to $0.1295.
It has been nearly five years since those wild rides-since social media posts, like incantations, ignited a frenzy that bathed the streets in ephemeral gold. GameStop, once a humble shrine to physical pixels and cartridges, surged 788% from January’s whisper to the echo of that tumultuous week, while AMC climbed a staggering 570%. Yet, as the sun must inevitably set, the mirage began to fade. AMC’s triumph now lies buried beneath a 98% decline from that peak, and GameStop, once a beacon of youthful rebellion, has fallen by 73%-a shadow stretching across the aisle of vanished possibilities, leaving behind only the faint scent of financial dust.
Repsol, a merchant of power and fuel to the world, doth now embark upon a novel course – the adoption of these newfangled “decentralized digital identities.” Verily, ’tis a move spurred by a desire for greater security and ease in its dealings across the globe. One might almost suspect a lack of trust in the old ways! 🙄 This addition, good sirs, doth bestow yet greater strength upon Hedera’s ambitions in the realm of Web3.
Thursday saw Bitcoin trying to burst through a key barrier after a modest 2.9% boost from the opening bell. But like a stubborn kid, it bounced off the $89,000-$90,000 plateau more times than a rubber ball in a playground, only to fall back to $85,145-a two-week low that feels as dramatic as a soap opera. The crypto hero attempted a comeback twice in a day, only to get politely rejected-no entry today, please. Market sage Ted Pillows (yes, that’s his real name) points out that despite the rollercoaster, BTC manages to cling above the $85,000 support, teasing a shot at the $90,000-$92,000 range-if it doesn’t give up first. But, beware-the moment it drops below that support, it could be headed down to revisit November’s lows, around $80,000, braiding its way into history’s repetitive tale. Ted suggests that Bitcoin’s recent antics might just be a rerun of its Q1 2025 drama, hinting at a possible tumble below current lows-because who likes surprises in the market, right? 😂
In a shockingly serious post on X (formerly Twitter, but Elon insists we call it X now), CryptoVizArt.₿ pointed out that Bitcoin “sharks”-those holding between 100 and 1,000 BTC (so, you know, just casual millionaires)-have been stacking coins like they’re preparing for a digital apocalypse.
