Crypto Tragedy &burntBrain: The Kuzmin Affair!

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A motive entangled with crypto-the most fashionable vice of our times-has been suspected in the demise of Danylo Kuzmin, son of Kharkiv’s deputy mayor. Vienna’s finest are investigating a gruesome tale wherein a very substantial amount vanished from his digital wallet post-mortem. The young man, found in a charred convertible in Vienna’s Donaustadt (autumn 2023), was the offspring of Serhii Kuzmin, a local official who surely wishes he had a digital child-proof lock. 😅

VUG vs. VOOG: A Kafkaesque Dilemma in Growth ETFs

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Both entities, in their labyrinthine pursuit of large-cap growth, are ensnared within the confines of their respective indices, each a separate yet parallel path through the same desolate landscape. VOOG, bound to the S&P 500 Growth Index, and VUG, tethered to the broader CRSP U.S. Large Cap Growth Index, embody the paradox of choice-a choice that feels less like empowerment and more like an inevitable march toward abstraction.

The Crypto Hustle: Bitcoin Rodney and the $1.8 Billion Pyramid Collapse

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In January 2024, the US DOJ decided to bring Xue Lee, affectionately known as Sam Lee, and Brenda Chunga, who prefers to embrace ‘Bitcoin Beautee’, into the spotlight. Turns out, these characters spun a tale so unbelievable that even the most gullible might have thought it was a grocery store full of free samples. The story? They claimed that investors would be rolling in crypto riches, thanks to mining operations that apparently existed only in the realm of fantasy.

2026: The Market’s New Year’s Resolution

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After President Trump’s tariffs, the S&P 500 took a hit so dramatic it felt like a bad haircut. But then, like a determined tourist in a foreign city, it bounced back, adding 16% year to date. The economy, however, is less of a tourist and more of a person who’s lost their passport. Hiring has slowed, unemployment hit a four-year high, and I’m not sure if anyone’s still buying the “I Heart Tariffs” mug I got at a roadside stand in 2018.

2026 Market Predictions: A Presidential Paradox

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The Presidential Election Cycle Theory, for instance, is based on data that shows that market performance in the latter two years of each president’s term has tended to outperform the first two years. It’s like a medieval knight’s quest: the first half is filled with battles, the second with feasts (if you’re lucky).