So, Nvidia had a perfectly good earnings report. Perfectly good! And then…the stock dips. Nine percent! Nine! Like, what is that about? Everyone’s suddenly worried about “sustainability of AI capex.” Capex! It’s like they’re inventing words just to justify their panicked selling. And then the analysts start whispering about “competitive pressures.” Competitive pressures? It’s a business! There’s always competition. It’s just… irritating.
Anyway, everyone’s now pivoting to energy stocks. Because apparently, if you can’t understand semiconductors, you just throw money at things that…power things. Fine. Constellation Energy and GE Vernova. Two companies, both promising growth, both completely devoid of any discernible personality. It’s like they’re designed to blend into the background, which, honestly, is probably a good business strategy. It’s just… depressing.
1. Constellation Energy
Constellation Energy. They bought Calpine. Calpine! It sounds like a villain from a 1980s action movie. Now they’re one of the biggest electricity producers in the U.S. Big. That’s what they want you to know. They operate 55 gigawatts of generation capacity. Fifty-five! What am I supposed to do with that information? Does it make my toaster work better?
Apparently, data centers are driving demand. Data centers. It’s always data centers. Like we’re all just living to power servers. They signed a deal with Meta. Meta! The company that’s actively trying to ruin society. They’re buying a gigawatt of nuclear energy. A gigawatt! It’s just… excessive. And they’re bragging about it. Like, “Look at all the power we’re using to show people pictures of cats!”
And Microsoft is involved, too. Restarting a nuclear plant called Three Mile Island. Three Mile Island! Are we learning nothing from history? They’re going to add 800 megawatts of carbon-free electricity. Carbon-free! As if that solves everything. It’s just… a distraction.
They’re also benefiting from rising capacity payments. Capacity payments! It’s like they’re getting paid to not have a blackout. And then they had a decent quarter. Revenue surpassed estimates. Earnings were better than expected. It’s all so… predictable.
But there are risks, of course. Power price volatility. Outage risks. Regulatory risks. It’s like they’re listing all the things that could go wrong, just to cover themselves. And the stock is expensive. Twenty-three-point-eight times forward earnings. Twenty-three-point-eight! It’s highway robbery, frankly. But, sure, go ahead, buy it. What do I know?
2. GE Vernova
GE Vernova. Another company that builds things. Gas turbines, grid equipment, wind systems. It’s all very… industrial. They play a crucial role in electricity generation. That’s what they want you to believe. And they’re benefiting from the increasing power demand. Surprise, surprise. Data centers, AI infrastructure, electrification. It’s a broken record.
They have a contractual backlog of $150 billion. One hundred and fifty billion! What are they going to do with all that money? Build a giant statue of themselves? The equipment backlog is worth $64 billion. It’s just… numbers. Meaningless numbers. They’re seeing profitable order growth. Accelerating demand. Favorable pricing. It’s all so… corporate.
Demand for gas power remains strong. Apparently, everyone still likes burning fossil fuels. They signed contracts for 24 gigawatts of new gas turbine capacity. Twenty-four! It’s just… unsustainable. Their total gas equipment backlog is 83 gigawatts. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.
They have a power services backlog of $70 billion. Associated with turbine maintenance and upgrades. It’s like they’re just fixing things that are going to break again. They generated $38 billion in revenues and $3.7 billion in free cash flow. It’s all so… efficient. They’re guiding for revenue in the range of $44 billion to $45 billion. And free cash flow in the range of $5 billion to $5.5 billion. It’s just… exhausting.
The shares trade at nearly 37.4 times forward earnings. Thirty-seven-point-four! It’s ridiculous. But, sure, go ahead, buy it. What do I know? I’m just a guy who’s annoyed by the relentless pursuit of growth and the endless stream of meaningless numbers.
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2026-03-08 17:33