Chewy: A Dog’s Dinner of a Stock?

Except, well, it hasn’t been. Has it? The stock’s taken a proper beating – down 80% from its 2021 high. Eighty percent. It’s the kind of drop that makes you question all your life choices, frankly. And yet, here we are, considering whether it’s worth a punt. Because, let’s be real, we all have that one stock that’s currently haunting our portfolio. Don’t pretend you don’t.

DigitalOcean & the Heroku Exodus: A Cloud Comedy

One might think this a mere shuffling of digital papers, a footnote in the endless ledger of Silicon Valley. But consider the implications. These Heroku customers – and there are a great many, clinging to their applications like shipwrecked sailors to driftwood – must now seek refuge elsewhere. And where do they turn? To the behemoths, naturally – the Amazons and the Googles – where one’s request is lost in a labyrinthine bureaucracy, answered only by automated voices and the faint echo of indifference. Or… to DigitalOcean. A smaller vessel, perhaps, but one with a surprisingly sturdy hull and a captain who actually remembers your name.

Energy Transfer: A Most Reliable Indulgence

The truly discerning investor understands that consistency is the soul of elegance, and Energy Transfer appears determined to cultivate it. The company’s ability to generate a steadily rising income stream, even amidst the general chaos of the market, is a quality one rarely encounters. It is a portfolio addition not for those seeking fleeting excitement, but for those who appreciate a quiet, reliable indulgence.

The AI Stage: Three Players and Their Follies

First upon the stage, we have Nvidia, a company so enamored with its own ingenuity that it practically radiates heat. This purveyor of chips, the very sinews of the digital age, has become, shall we say, remarkably successful. Its earnings, reported with a flourish, reveal a revenue of $57 billion—a sum sufficient to purchase a small kingdom, were such a thing still fashionable. Indeed, the demand for these silicon enchantments seems insatiable, and Nvidia, with a smugness that would rival a courtier, appears content to supply it.

Annaly & Main Street: A Dividend Divergence

I sold it. Not because of any grand macroeconomic insight, mind you. More because the dividend kept shrinking, and I started getting anxious emails from my broker. It was less “income stream” and more “slow drip of disappointment.” I’ve since shifted my affections, if you can call it that, to Main Street Capital (MAIN 0.44%). It’s not glamorous, but it feels…sturdier. Like a sensible pair of shoes. And honestly, after years of chasing shiny objects, sensible is good.

Bitcoin: A Glimpse Beyond the Current Valuation

The so-called ‘Crypto Fear & Greed Index’ currently registers a meager thirteen out of a possible one hundred. A desolate figure. One might interpret this as a signal of profound systemic malfunction – a premonition of further decline. Or, if one possesses a temperament inclined towards a darker optimism, it may represent the nadir of investor capitulation. A point beyond which further despondency becomes… improbable. It is a state of suspended disbelief, a collective holding of breath before the inevitable exhale.

UnitedHealth: A Dividend, Darling, and a Dash of Drama

And the unpleasantness continues into 2026. Investors, bless their anxious hearts, are particularly agitated about the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services’ proposed payment increase for Medicare Advantage plans. Or rather, the distinct lack of one. A paltry 0.09% – one almost feels sorry for the accountants. The question, therefore, is this: is another shoe about to drop? Is the dividend, that comforting little ritual, about to be curtailed?

Gemini’s Execs Vanish Like Ghosts-Crypto’s Latest Drama!

On a Tuesday that shall forever be remembered in the annals of corporate chaos, Gemini-founded by the billionaire twins Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, who surely must have thought they’d signed a contract with destiny-announced via regulatory filing that its COO Marshall Beard, CFO Dan Chen, and CLO Tyler Meade had exited “immediately,” as if the building were on fire and the fire alarm had been rigged by a mischievous intern.

Institutions Cash Out as BTC Tumbles: A Tale of $3.74 Billion and Desperate Bulls

Over the past lunar cycle (a month, for those uninitiated in celestial finance), these institutions have collectively shed $3.74 billion, a figure so staggering it makes one wonder if they’ve mistaken their wallets for a black hole. Bitcoin, once the belle of the crypto ball, now limps along with $133 million in outflows, while Ethereum, ever the loyal sidekick, trails with $85.1 million of its own.

Microsoft’s Share Price: A Peculiar Weight

The matter, however, is not so simple as mere numerical value. A pressure exists, a subtle insistence emanating from the very foundations of the Dow Jones Industrial Average. It is a pressure not of logic, but of… weighting. Imagine, if you will, a scale delicately balanced, and upon it, the entire American economy. Microsoft, by virtue of its price, exerts a disproportionate influence. A most peculiar arrangement, wouldn’t you agree?