ASML: A Chipmaker’s Tale

For the last year or so, with this here “artificial intelligence” causing a right commotion, ASML’s been doing rather well for itself. Shares have climbed higher than a Mississippi steamboat on a spring flood, and they’ve more than doubled in value over the last five years. A tidy sum, wouldn’t you say? But the question isn’t where they have been, but where they’re headed. Will this AI craze keep the coffers overflowing, or is it just another bubble waiting to burst?

Tortoise & The Municipal Bond Thing

Apparently, they increased their holdings by 138,536 shares. 138,536! That’s a specific number. Like they sat there and counted them. And now the position is worth $31 million, which is 2.7% of their assets. 2.7%! It’s never a round number, is it? Always these awkward percentages. It’s like they’re trying to make it difficult to calculate. The value went up $3.6 million, which is fine, I guess. But it doesn’t solve the fundamental problem of…municipal bonds.

The Shifting Sands of Inference

Nvidia Headquarters

These agents, they say, will operate autonomously, weaving through tasks like threads in a complex loom. They will interact, replicate, and…decide. A chilling word, that. Decision. As if a series of algorithms could truly comprehend the weight of consequence, the subtle shades of grey that define our choices. IDC forecasts a tenfold increase in their use by 2027. A prodigious growth, like a vine overtaking a garden wall. Gartner suggests 40% of enterprise applications will harbor these digital mimics by year’s end. A disconcerting thought, that so much of our world might soon be populated by echoes.

Sirius XM: A Peculiar Yield

It is generally considered sensible, a point often reiterated by accountants and men with excessively polished boots, to invest in ventures propelled by the grand currents of progress. Sirius XM, however, finds itself rather… adrift. A lone vessel, bobbing precariously in a sea of digital streams. It is, you see, a satellite operator. A quaint notion in an age where music, news, and the endless pronouncements of talking heads are delivered via the ether, faster than a samovar can boil. Apple, Spotify, YouTube – these are the titans now, and Sirius XM… well, it offers a slightly different flavor of noise. A flavor, some might argue, akin to damp wool.

The Fading Apple and the Weight of Years

Don Warren, having relinquished the direct stewardship of Berkshire Hathaway—though never fully severing the silken cord that bound him to its fate—left behind a final lesson, subtle as the rustle of palm leaves in a hurricane. It wasn’t a pronouncement etched in stone, but a quiet act, a slow, deliberate pruning of the Apple orchard. He began to sell, not out of haste or panic, but with the measured patience of a man who understood that even the sweetest fruit can lose its savor, and that clinging to the past can blind one to the possibilities of the present.

Hims & Hers: The Glitch in the Machine

The FDA, bless their bureaucratic hearts, decided to unclog the Wegovy and Ozempic pipeline. Suddenly, the gravy train for Hims & Hers’ compounding operation hit a brick wall. The writing? It wasn’t on the wall, it was SCRAWLED across the sky in neon, screaming “GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!” I smelled it coming months ago, a faint whiff of desperation mixed with the sweet scent of impending doom.

The AI Delusion & a Few Salvageable Wrecks

A depiction of technological disillusionment

One might ask, what is to be done amidst this wreckage? Not to weep, certainly. Not to gnash teeth and declare the end of progress. No, one must sift through the debris, identify the few companies that, through a combination of luck, competence, or sheer stubbornness, might actually survive. I have peered into the gloom, braved the swirling mists of hype, and emerged with a handful of names – not promises of salvation, mind you, but potential salvageable wrecks. Let us examine them, shall we?

The Prudent Investor’s Masquerade

Yet, even the most hardened cynic—and I confess, I count myself amongst their number—must acknowledge the virtue of a modicum of preparation. Thus, we present, not a promise of immunity from the inevitable storms, but a selection of instruments—these ‘Exchange Traded Funds’—designed to cushion the fall, or at least, to provide a slightly more comfortable landing. Consider them, if you will, a collection of rather expensive, yet fashionable, crash helmets for the financial head.

Buffett & Ackman: Amazonian Rumble!

Buffett, you see, ran Berkshire Hathaway like a particularly well-organized lemonade stand for sixty years. Sixty years! I’ve had shorter marriages! Now he’s Chairman, which basically means he gets a really comfy chair and still offers opinions nobody asked for. Ackman, meanwhile, is CEO of Pershing Square, a name that sounds suspiciously like a pirate’s gambling den. He’s known for both shorting things into oblivion and, surprisingly, occasionally being right. A true Renaissance man of finance, that one.

Occidental’s Fortunes: A Reflection of Global Currents

February, however, brought a more pronounced shift, a stirring of the waters following the company’s earnings report. To understand this movement, one must consider the broader context, the intricate dance between supply and demand, geopolitical tensions, and the relentless pursuit of profit that drives the modern world. It is not merely a matter of numbers on a screen, but a reflection of human ambition, of the ceaseless striving for material betterment, and the inevitable disappointments that accompany such endeavors.