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Behold, dear reader, this week’s edition of the weekly recap, where we unravel the absurdities of the crypto realm. From President Trump’s peculiar pick for the Commodity Futures Trading Commission’s chair to Kyrgyzstan’s audacious launch of a stablecoin backed by its local currency (because why not?), we’ve got it all. SpaceX and Strategy are throwing millions into Bitcoin like it’s a bottomless pit of hope, while Kraken expands with the ferocity of a Gogol bureaucrat on a power trip. 🦑🚀

According to the clever folk at REX Osprey, their REX-Osprey XRP ETF (ticker: XRPR) achieved this feat in mere weeks after launching on September 18. The fund allows investors to tuck XRP-a cryptocurrency now nestled comfortably in the fourth seat of market cap royalty-into their portfolios. How very modern.

The “breakthrough” happened during Trump’s second-term Asian tour (yes, he got a second term-don’t ask). He signed some papers with Malaysia, waved at Thailand and Cambodia making peace, and China graciously delayed rare earth export controls. Because, you know, nothing says “trustworthy trade partner” like “we’ll hold off on screwing you over… for a year.” Meanwhile, Trump’s 100% tariff threat? Poof! Gone. Maybe. Probably not. Who knows?

Ah, the glorious world of crypto! Ripple CEO, Brad Garlinghouse, boldly declares that “XRP sits at the center of everything Ripple does” – a statement that has us all hanging on his every word. Oh, the drama! XRP price prediction is giving us butterflies, with potential short-term gains of 40%, followed by a juicy long-term target of $16, if the stars align and we continue with these bullish technical patterns. But hold onto your wallets, folks-here comes the underdog: Best Wallet Token ($BEST). Investors are whispering that $BEST could be the next big thing, a crypto with actual utility. Time to load up on this gem!

It’s no secret: the old-timers’ selling spree is causing quite a ruckus-imagine a bunch of wise old codgers throwing their coins into the wind and shouting, “Now’s the time, boys!” Recent data from Glassnode shows they’ve offloaded a staggering 300,000 BTC just in a few months. Seems like these seasoned coin-tossers are plotting their escape before the storm hits. Speaking of the storm, the $100,000 mark is shaping up to be the psychological tipping point. That’s when a good many of these OGs might finally decide to pocket their gains, having held on, sometimes through storms and tempests, for years. It’s like that old advice about sitting on your gold-until you’re ready to go fishing for something better.

A report from Artemis suggests that digital dollars are finally trading their flashy crypto casino chips for actual loaves of bread in the real world. Business-to-business transfers? The new black, apparently.

Most Bitcoin treasury strategies are like fireworks-loud, bright, and gone in a flash. But the masterstroke? An art of silence, of subtlety. According to Zynx, the analyst with the cool credentials-think of him as the Sherlock Holmes of crypto-Capital B’s impact is quietly reshaping the Bitcoin landscape. Despite being as volatile as a teenager’s mood swing and heavily shorted, this treasury keeps piling on BTC like a squirrel hoarding acorns-per share, no less. And wait, they raised €58 million during a market that was basically doing the limbo under a collapsing ceiling! 💸🕺