In a shockingly serious post on X (formerly Twitter, but Elon insists we call it X now), CryptoVizArt.₿ pointed out that Bitcoin “sharks”-those holding between 100 and 1,000 BTC (so, you know, just casual millionaires)-have been stacking coins like they’re preparing for a digital apocalypse.
Lo and behold, the relentless march of consumer crypto platforms continues, trampling niche audiences underfoot like peasants before a tsar’s carriage. Base, that peculiar Ethereum Layer 2 contraption nurtured by Coinbase-yes, the same Coinbase that trades under the cryptic ticker “COIN”-has flung open its digital gates on December 17th. Now, in over 140 nations, one may engage in socializing, trading, payments, and earning, all while questioning life choices. Truly, a modern marvel!
Executing GOOSE-3,” requires approval from Lido DAO token holders.
Adam Back, a cypherpunk extraordinaire and co-founder of Blockstream (basically the Zaphod Beeblebrox of Bitcoin infrastructure), took to X (formerly known as Twitter, but let’s not get into that) to assure everyone that Bitcoin is “quantum ready.” But don’t worry, he says, quantum computers are still “ridiculously early”-like, so early they’re probably still figuring out how to tie their own shoelaces. 👶💻 He predicts no quantum doom for at least a decade, and even if some encryption bits get cracked, Bitcoin’s core security is as solid as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe’s menu. No stolen Bitcoin, no panic, just a lot of unnecessary hand-wringing.
Yet CRV, that melancholic soul, fell 2.63% in this very period. A week? Oh, merely a 9.9% descent into the abyss. How poetic, how utterly Russian 🥟. Even Bitcoin, the tsar of crypto, was humiliated at $90k, rejected like a suitor at a provincial ball.
The SEC filing reveals a curious arithmetic: 117,966 shares subtracted from a portfolio worth $433.8 million. Golar LNG, now a mere 0.5% of the fund’s holdings, appears to have been demoted from a cherished acquaintance to a polite but distant relation. One wonders if the fund’s managers, ever mindful of reputation and balance, feared the stigma of being seen as overly attached to an industry whose fortunes ebb and flow like the tides.
According to Sacks, Senate Banking Chair Tim Scott and Agriculture Chair John Boozman (yes, the same Agriculture Committee that somehow ended up in the crypto game-go figure 🌽💻) have confirmed this bipartisan bill is hitting the Senate floor next month. And no, this isn’t another “maybe next year” promise. It’s happening. Allegedly. 🤞
Historically speaking, similar ascending channels in Ethereum’s charts have acted as a kind of fiscal safety net during midterm corrections. The observation of higher lows and specific volume patterns has traditionally been the trader’s preferred way to ascertain support-and, perhaps, a future rebound. Yet, one must remember, such signs remain less reliable when the network participation wanes, like a grand ball with fewer and fewer guests arriving.
In what they’re calling a “long-term competitive strategy,” Bitfinex has decided to cut those pesky maker and taker fees. And guess what? This isn’t just a one-time offer; it’s the new default. They’ve thrown open the doors to spot trading, margin trading, derivatives, securities, and even OTC trading on Bitfinex Securities. Just don’t ask them when this glorious free-for-all is going to end. They’re keeping that under wraps, probably because they’ve misplaced the calendar. 🗓️
Yes, folks, Intuit is teaming up with Circle to sprinkle some USDC magic across its platform. Credit Karma, TurboTax, QuickBooks-oh, the possibilities! 🤯
