Yet not everyone on Wall Street is clinking champagne flutes over this potential bonanza. Two of the most prominent AI stocks-each with a valuation north of a trillion dollars-have analysts whispering cautionary tales. It’s the financial equivalent of a magician saying, “Don’t blink.”
After seven days of inflows, Bitcoin ETFs decided to throw a tantrum, spilling $51.28 million. Fidelity FBTC, the star of the show, pulled a $116.03M Houdini act, while Grayscale GBTC tried to play the victim with $62.64M. Ark & 21Shares ARKB? A total drama queen with $32.29M. Bitwise BITB? Just a sad $12.58M. 🙃
In the bustling marketplace, our hero AVAX doth trade steadfastly at $32.80, boasting an intraday premium-a princely 10.6%! The noble cap of this coin hath ascended by 10.55% to a magnificent $13.85 billion, whilst a brisk volume of $1.62 billion changes hands like courtiers at a royal ball. With a capricious spirit, AVAX hath danced betwixt $29.44 and $33.20 in a single day, breaking through a critical technical barrier-surely a herald of grander adventures to come!
These updates aren’t just corporate jargon in tweets-they’re real, folks! DEX volume spiking, Bitwise’s ETF filing, and institutions drooling over AVAX like it’s the last slice of pizza. Demand? Liquidity? Institutional interest? They’re all here, probably plotting world domination. 🤖
There it stands, opposite Union Square, on the sacred National Mall, a mile’s stroll from the White House. A tribute, they proclaim, to Trump’s “unwavering commitment to advancing the future of finance through Bitcoin and decentralized technologies.” Ah, yes, unwavering indeed, like a weathervane in a hurricane! 🌪️
In what can only be described as a delightful blend of bureaucratic rigor and governmental watchfulness, India has reportedly mandated cybersecurity audits for all cryptocurrency exchanges, custodians, and intermediaries. The Financial Intelligence Unit (FIU), in its infinite wisdom, directed that virtual digital asset (VDA) service providers must engage auditors employed by the Indian Computer Emergency Response Team (CERT-In), according to a quaint report from Economic Times on Sept. 17. Oh, CERT-In, the embattled guardian of the country’s cybersecurity infrastructure, who on this day, alongside the auditors, will witness VDA providers scrambled for compliance, much like myself at a prolonged family dinner. Thrillingly, the completion of these audits is now mandatory for FIU registration, thereby equating VDA service providers with banks under the illustrious Prevention of Money Laundering Act, 2002.
Thomas Chong of Jefferies raised his price target from $108 to $157 like a gambler shuffling a deck with a loaded gun. “Buy” he said, as if the word could buy his way out of a paper bag. His logic? Baidu’s AI ambitions. A company that’s “embraced AI fully and rapidly,” he claimed, as though speed alone could offset the stink of vaporware.
For two days now, the market has clutched at straws, its breath shallow with the scent of desperation, as Puerto Rico’s governor declared a pact sealed: a $4 billion lifeline of liquefied natural gas, to flow over seven years, with the faint hope of a three-year extension. Yet this is but a thread tugged from the loom of a rejected $20 billion vision-a vision smothered in July by the same overseers who now weigh this new compact. Is this a resurrection or a farce staged on the brink of ruin?
Mark Altschwager, a man of few but calculated words, made his move early in the day, increasing his fair value assessment of the retailer’s stock from $15 to a slightly more optimistic $17. His move, though, was not one of the wild exuberance seen in so many market adventures. He, in fact, left his stance on the stock unchanged-neutral, yes, like a judge who neither praises nor condemns but simply observes. How noble, and yet how utterly frustrating for those wishing for a grand declaration!
Its local subsidiary, BitGo Europe, shall now prance about like a peacock, flaunting its ability to cater to institutional clients with an over-the-counter (OTC) trading desk and multiple liquidity venues. 🦚💰 Oh, the opulence! This extension, my dear reader, builds upon BitGo’s previous Markets-in-Crypto-Assets (MiCA) license, a trinket acquired in May 2025, which allowed it to mingle with traditional institutions and crypto natives alike in the European Union.
