CoinGlass, that digital oracle of trading chaos, reveals a $300,110 purge of short positions in a single hour-proof that even the most bullish of bears can’t outdance a sudden price spike. Alas, these traders mistook past dips for a permanent bear market, a miscalculation as quaint as a typewriter in the age of quantum computing. 🐻📉
Beta measures how wildly the price flicks around compared to the grand, all-encompassing S&P 500; calculated from five-year weekly tidbits. The 1-year return? It’s the total wild ride of the past twelve months, sometimes thrilling, sometimes terrifying.
Meanwhile, the CoinDesk 20 index (CD20) strutted ahead by 0.5%, leaving APT in the dust. The broader market, it seems, has no time for such theatrics. 🏃♂️💨
Beta measures price volatility relative to the S&P 500; beta is calculated from five-year weekly returns. The 1-yr return represents total return over the trailing 12 months.
What the discerning reader ought to know: Imagine a soap opera where the leading man is a cryptocurrency with a penchant for melodrama. Bitcoin’s 2025 bull run was less “Midas touch” and more “hot potato,” revealing that digital assets are as stable as a butler on roller skates. 🎭
Chiliz spent most of the year trapped in a resistance zone so tight, it made a pair of skinny jeans look like a tent. 🧘♂️ Every time it tried to break free, it face-planted harder than a newbie at a yoga class. But lo and behold, the selling pressure got bored and wandered off, leaving CHZ to finally stretch its legs. The price is now hovering around $0.044-$0.045, which is basically the crypto equivalent of winning a participation trophy. 🎉 Trading volume? Up. On-balance volume? Also up. It’s like the coin finally remembered it had a purpose in life. As long as it stays above its old highs, it’s technically still at the party. Technically.
But now, the oracle of Omaha is passing the baton. His retirement at year-end 2025 leaves a void-not just in boardrooms, but in the collective psyche of investors everywhere. And yet, his parting gift? A $184 billion warning. Not a cryptic tweet, not a vague sigh, but a seismic shift in Berkshire’s stock-buying habits. Since Q4 2022, they’ve been net sellers, liquidating stakes even as their cash pile hit $382 billion. Why? Because the stock market, dear reader, is trading like it’s 2000 again-except this time, we’re all holding the tech bros’ old smartphones.
At the current rate of $1.87 per XRP, this transfer occupies that most awkward of social positions-neither a fortune nor a trifle. It is, as they say, enough to raise eyebrows but not to shatter teacups. The immediate assumption, of course, was that of a sale, for large outbound movements often precede the sort of market tumult that sends investors scurrying like mice at a cat’s approach. Yet, as is so often the case, the tale took a most unexpected turn. 🌀
This stake, a humble 1.2% of Needham’s sprawling empire of assets, whispers of a chess game played in the darkness. The giants of the portfolio-SMCI, TDUP, LASR, PDFS, VRT-stand like gothic gargoyles and angels, guardians of the investment crypt. The shares, priced at $29.38 as of last twilight-up 44.5% in a year-outperforming the S&P 500 by 33.3 percentage points, as if mocking the very idea of average achievement. In a universe where success is often an illusion, UTI’s ascent is a rare anomaly-a soaring specter within the mundane gloom of the market.
On a Tuesday, no less-the most mundane of days-blockchain security firm SlowMist unveiled its 2025 Blockchain Security & AML Annual Report. Oh, the drama! It seems the crypto industry has been more of a sitting duck than a soaring eagle this year, with security challenges that would make even the most seasoned detective blush. 🕵️♂️