Look, let’s be real. Investing in dividend stocks isn’t about “generating passive income.” It’s about feeling slightly less panicked about the impending heat death of the universe. It’s about making capitalism work for you, instead of the other way around. And if that means getting a little cash drip-fed into your account each quarter, I’m not judging. Two companies I’m eyeballing this March, and frankly, wouldn’t hesitate to add to my portfolio, are EPR Properties and Oneok. They’re not sexy, but neither is filing taxes, and we all do that too.
Experiential Real Estate: Because Apparently, We Still Go Places
EPR Properties. The name sounds like a mid-level accounting firm, but they’re actually in the business of…experiences. Movie theaters, eat-and-play venues, those places where you spend all your disposable income and then wonder where it went. They lease these properties under what they call “triple net leases,” which basically means the tenant pays for everything. It’s brilliant. Like renting out a bouncy castle and making the birthday kid responsible for the electricity bill. Last year, they grew their funds from operations (FFO – yes, it’s an acronym, naturally) by 5.1%, and promptly raised their monthly dividend. A 5.9% yield? That’s enough to almost cover the cost of a streaming service. Almost.
They’re planning to invest even more – $400 to $500 million, which, let’s be honest, is a lot of popcorn. But here’s the thing: people still go to movies. They still bowl. They still need places to spend money they probably shouldn’t. EPR is betting on that, and I’m not entirely convinced they’re wrong. It’s a solid, if slightly depressing, business model.
Oneok: The Pipeline People (It’s More Exciting Than It Sounds)
Oneok. Pronounced “Oh-No-Ok,” which feels oddly appropriate for the energy sector. They move natural gas and other stuff through pipelines. It’s not glamorous, but it’s essential. And, crucially, it’s incredibly stable. They have long-term contracts and government regulation, which means they’re less likely to be disrupted by, say, a rogue tweet or a sudden obsession with kale. Last year, they had double-digit earnings growth, and boosted their dividend by 4%, bringing the yield to 5%. That’s enough to buy a really nice pair of noise-canceling headphones and drown out the existential dread.
They’re expecting a slowdown this year, which is corporate-speak for “things are about to get a little less awesome.” But they have a bunch of expansion projects in the works, including some to support data centers and LNG export terminals. Because, of course, everything eventually comes back to data and natural gas. They’re aiming for a 3-4% annual dividend growth rate. It’s not going to make you a millionaire, but it’s a start.
The Bottom Line: Adulting is Expensive
Look, EPR Properties and Oneok aren’t going to revolutionize your life. They’re not the next Tesla or Apple. They’re just solid companies that generate durable cash flow and pay decent dividends. And in a world where everything feels like it’s on fire, that’s actually a pretty good thing. They give you a little breathing room, a little financial cushion, a little something to tell yourself when you’re staring into the abyss. And honestly, in this economy, that’s priceless. So, yeah, I wouldn’t hesitate to buy them this month. Because adulting is expensive, and we all deserve a little help.
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2026-03-03 19:33