Kuo Zhang, said to be a president at Alibaba.com, declared to CNBC that tokenized fiat shall “simplify” payments. A bold lie! For who but merchants in 2015 dare to ” унифицировать” (unify) anything? Meanwhile, Agentic Pay-AI’s latest masquerade-shall automate settlements with “smart contracts.” Why, it’s like asking a goat to herd lawyers! Launch date? Who needs one when you’re selling hope in algorithmic coupons?
Behold, Dogecoin (DOGE) whispers of a recovery, having kissed the major support at $0.16, as though it were a long-lost friend. 🥺
The grand total of approximately $245 million flowing into the ETF, coupled with nearly $60 million traded on launch day, was certainly record-breaking-if you’re a historian of insignificant events. It’s barely 1% of XRP’s market value, for those who prefer their investments served with a side of humility. The demand was akin to a whisper in a tornado-hardly enough to sway a titan. As the hype evaporated quicker than a politician’s promise, the price took a nosedive, leaving traders to ponder their life choices. 💸💥
It’s a curious arithmetic-the transaction, weighted at an average of $31.34 per share, a slightly higher whisper than the market close of $30.42-manages to toe the line between pragmatism and sentimental peak. While such sale sizes echo the paltry median of recent trading scores, the question lurks: is Hao merely humming along the financial scale, or orchestrating a more intricate symphony?
As the government shutdown’s ghost haunts Wall Street, the SEC has issued guidance so precise, it makes one wonder if they’ve been binge-watching Mad Men. 🕶️ The agency, now armed with a 20-day effectiveness window (Section 8(a), for those who still read the rulebook), has essentially handed issuers a golden ticket to market. 🎫
🧵BitMine is pleased to announce management and Board appointments:
Today marks Day 43 of my quest to understand hedge fund managers. Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: 0 (for once). Hours Spent Deciphering SEC Filings: 3.7. Number of Times I’ve Compared Investing to Gambling: 12. Let’s begin.
Pray, do these harrowing omens signal a bear market? Let us dissect the matter with the precision of a well-aimed quill.
The filing, dated Friday, reveals that HG Vora’s position in the theme park operator has been reduced to 425,000 shares, worth $22 million at quarter-end. The transaction is surgical: a 44% stake reduction executed during a year when United Parks’ shares have collapsed by the same percentage. The S&P 500, for context, has risen 15% over the same period. Markets do not forgive stagnation.
