So, here’s the latest from the SEC: the Franklin XRP ETF, filed back in March, is still sitting in their inbox, patiently collecting virtual dust. The Commission decided in April that maybe, just maybe, they should actually ask for your thoughts on this thrilling proposal. You know, because what’s better than bureaucracy?
Yet lo! Nio seeks to raise $1 billion, capitalizing on its recent rally as if the stock were a gullible suitor. One might pity the shareholders, who trade their shares for a pittance-$5.57 per ADS, though the price yesterday was $6.28. A bargain, indeed, for a company that burned $700 million in Q2 alone. A dance as old as the stock market itself: dilution, the silent partner of ambition.
SCAM ALERT: CoinMarketCap does NOT have a Token/Coin. If you see a promotion for CMC-Tokens, it is a Fake/Scam!
After the closing bell on Monday, tech behemoth Oracle (ORCL), probably feeling somewhat rebellious, missed its earnings estimate for fiscal 2026’s first quarter. The report was somewhat disappointing, posting $1.47 per share when analysts had been expecting $1.48. However, in a dramatic turn of events-because who doesn’t love a good plot twist-Oracle’s CEO, Safra Catz, threw a wild prediction into the air: “Oracle Cloud Infrastructure revenue will grow 77% to $18 billion this fiscal year,” she said, sounding like she might also predict that the moon will turn into a giant piece of blue cheese, just because why not. Oracle’s stock, predictably, surged more than 41% the following day, as if the heavens themselves had opened, and investors, gripped by the wild allure of AI, began scrambling for anything remotely connected to it.
The catalyst? A quarterly report so resplendent with numbers it could have lit up the Kremlin. Revenue of $14.9 billion-up 12%-and adjusted EPS of $1.47 (a 6% rise) arrived like a telegram from a long-lost uncle, brimming with unearned optimism. Yet the true marvel was not the numbers themselves, but the shadow they cast: a $455 billion backlog of contracts, a figure so vast it might have made Stalin reconsider his Five-Year Plan.
CoinMarketCap, that oracle of digital fortunes, reveals the frenzy. Traders, those modern-day alchemists, clutch at RLUSD like it’s the last samovar at a Russian tea party. Payments? Purchases? Da, da, all aboard the hype train! 🚂💨
Speaking at the first-ever OECD Roundtable on Global Financial Markets in the city of romance (and croissants), Paris, Atkins unveiled what sounds like the latest James Bond villain: “Project Crypto.” The mission? To get some actual, crystal-clear rules on the books and stop playing regulatory Whac-A-Mole-aka “ad hoc enforcement.” Fancy, huh?
India’s Crypto Fear: A Tale of Missed Opportunities and Cautious Chaos 🌪️A recent report by Reuters, drawing from a government document as dry as a Turgenev novel, reveals that officials are quivering at the thought of legitimizing crypto. They fear it might become systemic, a beast too wild to tame. 🐉🚫
Meta, that most accomplished of social hosts, presides over a gathering of 3.48 billion daily active users, a figure that would make even the most ambitious of London hostesses green with envy. With its digital advertising empire, it shares the stage with Alphabet’s Google, a rivalry as polite as it is profitable. One might imagine Mr. Darcy himself poring over Meta’s AI-driven ad algorithms, for they are as refined as the latest gown at a ball.
Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing (TSMC) wears its anonymity like a well-worn coat. To the untrained eye, it is a factory of sand and fire, a place where raw elements are coaxed into the nervous systems of machines. But in the hush of its cleanrooms, where engineers toil like monks in a cathedral of circuitry, lies the beating heart of AI’s ascent. These chips-those tiny, unassuming slabs of silicon-are the loom on which the tapestry of machine learning is woven. Without them, even the most ambitious algorithms would wither like seedlings in a drought.