So, apparently, everyone thinks the stock market’s just going to keep going up. Another year of gains. It’s… it’s just irritating, frankly. After three years of this ridiculous run, you’d think people would be a little more cautious. But no. They’re all hopped up on AI, apparently. AI! Like that’s some magical solution to everything. It’s just… a lot.
This CORP-DEPO report—who even names these things?—says 68% of investors expect gains this year. 68%! It’s like they’re all in on some secret I didn’t get the memo about. And the Gen Z and Millennials? Leading the charge, naturally. They’re so optimistic. It’s exhausting. They probably think their avocado toast is an investment strategy.
What really gets me is the lack of… realism. Only 11% expect another year of double-digit returns. Okay, fine, that’s…reasonable. But 57% think it’ll be between 4 and 9%. It’s like they’re trying to be sensible. It’s unsettling. Where’s the healthy skepticism? The bracing fear of loss? It’s just… unnerving. And the whole thing is built on this AI hype. It’s like everyone’s decided to ignore basic economic principles.
Most People Think the Market Will Go Up. It’s a Problem.
Look, I’m not saying the market’s going to crash tomorrow. I’m just saying, it’s a little suspicious how everyone is on the same page. It’s like a groupthink situation. And the fact that only 3% of these people anticipate a 10% correction? That’s just… asking for trouble. Historically, these things happen. It’s called a market cycle. It’s not some revolutionary concept!
They point to 2025 with these “Liberation Day” tariffs, 2022 with inflation, 2020 with… well, you know. 2018 with Europe. Like these were isolated incidents. It’s like they’ve selectively edited history to fit their narrative. And the Vanguard Information Technology ETF almost hit a 9% decline in February. They gloss over that, of course. Conveniently.
AI Investors? Even More Optimistic. Of Course.
And the AI investors? They’re even more bullish. 11% expecting double-digit gains, 64% between 4 and 9%. It’s predictable. They’ve already made money on this thing, so they’re going to keep doubling down. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. They’re not looking at the fundamentals; they’re just chasing the hype. It’s infuriating. And they’re probably all wearing black turtlenecks.
So What Does It All Mean? Honestly, I Don’t Know. And That’s the Point.
Look, three years of gains, minimal corrections… it’s a recipe for complacency. The fact that almost nobody is bracing for a downturn is… disturbing. It’s like they’re all waiting for the other shoe to drop, but they’re convinced it won’t. And that’s the most dangerous part. It’s like they’re all in on some elaborate joke, and I didn’t get the punchline.
They talk about confidence in the U.S. economy. Fine. But confidence doesn’t negate risk. It just makes people ignore it. And that’s a problem. A big problem. So, yeah, the majority of people think 2026 will be another good year for investors. Great. Just… don’t come crying to me when it isn’t. I’ll be busy being annoyed.
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2026-03-02 14:02