Oh, MSTR! The Stock Everyone’s Love-to-Hate (But Maybe Not?)

Move over, GameStop-MSTR’s stock is now the Wall Street equivalent of a punchable face. According to FactSet and Goldman Sachs, short bets are at 14% of its $34 billion market cap. For context, Coinbase is fourth with a mere 11% of punters betting on its demise. Because nothing says “healthy market” like betting against companies with a combined net worth of a small island nation.

Gold, Dollars, and a Fellow’s Chances

Why, in the last year, gold has put on a show, risin’ a good 64%. And it’s already up another 18% this year. The S&P 500 (^GSPC +0.77%), bless its heart, is pokin’ along at a mere 1%. Seems investors are pilin’ into the yellow stuff like ants at a picnic, fearin’ what the government’s spendin’ and borrowin’ might bring. Returns like that ain’t normal, mind you, but the conditions are ripe for it to keep climbin’. It’s a spectacle, I tell you, a spectacle.

Realty Income: Seriously?

They call themselves “The Monthly Dividend Company.” The audacity. It’s a branding decision designed to prey on the financially insecure. And it’s working, apparently. People are falling for it. It’s just… infuriating. I checked the yield, 4.9%. Fine. But 31 consecutive years of raising the dividend? That’s not a sign of strength; it’s a commitment. A lifetime commitment. What if they get tired? What if the CFO just decides he needs a vacation and forgets to authorize the payment? Have they thought this through?

Quantum Dreams & Empty Pockets

I was lookin’ at this Rigetti Computing company (RGTI +2.93%), and I came to the conclusion last month – a conclusion I still hold, mind you – that puttin’ your hard-earned dollars there, at least in the short term, is akin to bettin’ on a mule in a thoroughbred race. They haven’t been announcin’ many new sales of these quantum contraptions, and that usually means the earnings report ain’t gonna be a pretty sight. We’ll find out in a couple of weeks, on March 4th, if my hunch was right. I suspect it is.

Spectacles and Speculation: A Market Divertissement

Stock Certificate

Baird, with a boldness that borders on the charming, values Netflix at $150 per share. A rather optimistic assessment, to be sure, implying a 95% ascent from its current, somewhat beleaguered, position. The consensus, as expressed by a chorus of 49 analysts, settles at a more modest, yet still agreeable, 44% upside. One gathers that hope, however cautiously expressed, still flickers in the hearts of the financial cognoscenti.

A Most Peculiar Investment Drama

Indeed, a twelve percent ascent in the last year, and fourteen percent thus far in this current annum! A veritable spectacle of financial legerdemain, overshadowing, as such things often do, the more modest performance of the broader market. The S&P 500, a creature of comparative restraint, has merely crept forward, a pathetic snail in comparison to this caffeinated steed.

XRP: A Penny Dreadful?

It briefly touched $3.65 last year, a fleeting moment of enthusiasm. Now, down a rather depressing 61%, one begins to suspect the initial excitement was largely fuelled by wishful thinking and a surplus of venture capital. A common ailment, naturally.

Nvidia: The Margin as Harbinger

Nvidia Headquarters

Nvidia’s ascent has been remarkable. Since the beginning of 2023, the company’s share price has increased by an order of magnitude, fueled by an insatiable demand for its graphics processing units. These GPUs are the engines driving the current wave of AI development, and Nvidia, for now, holds a near-monopoly on their supply. This has allowed the company to dictate terms, and the market, largely, has acquiesced.

Amazon: A Mildly Interesting Investment

So, is now a good time to acquire a small piece of this sprawling, slightly terrifying behemoth? Let’s investigate. Though “investigate” implies a degree of rigor that may not be entirely warranted. Let’s just… look at it. From a distance. With binoculars.

Crypto CLARITY: $5 Trillion Tsunami or Just Another Wet Dream?

Crypto Chart or Random Squiggles? You Decide.

In a recent squawk on the bird app (formerly known as Twitter, because why not rename everything?), the enigmatic 360Trader-a name that sounds like a discount furniture store-proclaimed that trillions in institutional money are sitting on the sidelines, waiting for the regulatory equivalent of a green light. Apparently, Wall Street is just dying to throw its weight behind crypto, but only if someone hands them a rulebook first. How very un-Ankh-Morpork of them.