In a social media teaser that screams “click me now,” developers promised early birds a shot at $1 million in TRUMP Coin. The game? Think Monopoly meets The Apprentice, where you hoard assets, upgrade your empire, and flaunt Trump-themed trinkets. Because nothing says “I’m winning” like a digital gold toilet. 🚽✨
Why, you ask? Well, it seems the big fish-or should we say, the whales-have taken a fancy to it. 🌊💰 Renewed support from these deep-pocketed chaps has sent speculation into overdrive, faster than a dwarf with a grudge.
The first, akin to a river that flows with the certainty of seasons, tracks the CRSP U.S. Large Cap Growth Index-an unbroken pulse of the nation’s philosopher-entrepreneurs. The second, VONG, traces the Russell 1000 Growth Index-more akin to a forest dense with countless trees, each a different story, a different song. When one compares their holdings, it is like observing two ancient trees-one with a sparser canopy, one with a lush, tangled crown; their roots intertwined yet their shadows cast differently upon the soil of investors’ hopes.
On a frosty December 9, 2025, in Geneva (because of course it was), Syz Bank and Taurus revealed a partnership so deep, even the snow on the Alps looked envious. They’re now trading in custody, tokenization, and blockchain connectivity-basically the holy trinity of crypto coolness. If your grandma asked what that means, just say, “It’s like banking, but with more emojis.” 🧊✨
Brevis, the clever sort, figures out the heavy lifting off-chain and then waves its magic wand-zero-knowledge proofs-to verify the deeds right on the chain. All this while slashing costs faster than a fox in a henhouse and keeping everything so trustless even a saint would trust ’em. Trust me, it’s safer than Aunt Sally’s jam, and more private than a cat burglar in the night-hiding your positions and P&L better than a secret recipe.
It’s part of China’s tight grip on crypto madness-crack down on the wild west while still allowing a few slow-and-steady blockchain strolls. Because, you know, not all progress needs to be a rollercoaster, right?
Currently lingering just beneath the rather pedestrian figure of $3,400, ETH has caught the eye of Captain Faibik – quite a name, isn’t it? – who, with the dramatic flair one expects from a ‘Captain’ of anything, predicts a 30% rally. It seems the market, like a devoted admirer, is eager to believe.
So, Bitwise 10 Crypto Index Fund finally managed to become an ETF on the NYSE Arca. After all the SEC delays, honestly, I was starting to think it was going to stay a fund forever. Like, a really complicated, slightly stressful fund.
Just last month, a band of sneaky hackers crept in and snatched around 44.5 billion won ($31 million, more than many of us see in a lifetime’s piggy bank) in Solana-based assets. Talk about a “bad day at the office” for Upbit. So, they’re now doing what any sensible dragon would-double-locking, double-hiding, and basically turning their wallets into icy tombs.
The grand total value of all this… stuff… went up 3% to $3.2 trillion. Progress! Bitcoin itself, that granddaddy of digital scarcity, managed a respectable 2.3% gain, reaching the dizzying heights of $92,496. Ethereum, trying to keep up, notched a 6% increase to $3,312. Even Solana got in on the act, clambering 3.9% to $138 – which is good, if you happen to own Solana.
