Mat Ishbia’s $6.9M Exit: A Dance of Capital and Destiny

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Consider the ledger:

  • Shares Sold: 1,192,712 (enough to buy a small principality in the Principality of Sealand)
  • Post-Transaction Holdings: 1,818,036 indirect shares (a kingdom once larger, now diminished) and 279,989 direct (a king’s ransom, yet a pittance for a man who once held 7 million)

The weighted average price-$5.76-suggests no desperation, merely the steady hand of a chessmaster moving pieces across a board where pawns become queens and queens become ghosts.

How sneaky miners are robbing DeFi and chasing away the big money-what a mess!

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Aditya Palepu, the big boss at DEX Labs (he’s basically the superhero of crypto derivatives), says this MEV nonsense keeps the serious financial folks from jumping into DeFi-probably because they don’t fancy getting sandwiched or front-run before they even place their order. Imagine trying to buy a burger, only to find someone else ordered it first and then jacked up the price! 😂

DOGE’s Downfall: PENGU and SPX in a Meme Coin Meltdown! 🐕💔

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Dogecoin (DOGE), the once-mighty doge of the crypto realm, now limps along with a mere 0.6% gain, as if it’s been chased by a very grumpy squirrel. Stagnating at $0.1871, it’s like a teacup that forgot how to sip. Dogecoin’s market cap, $27.4 billion, is a number so large it could buy a small island… if the island was made of paper. 🐕💸

The Curious Case of ADMA and the Disappearing Shares

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According to a document filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission (a body whose primary purpose seems to be ensuring that paperwork remains the universe’s most enduring constant), Palisades had, during the third quarter, divested itself entirely of ADMA Biologics. This involved the sale of 398,647 shares, a number that sounds precise until you realize it’s roughly the population of a small island nation. The fund now holds precisely zero ADMA shares, a state of affairs as absolute as the heat death of the universe.

Upstart’s Ascent: A Tale of Numbers and Nonsense

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Yet, let us not mistake ambition for substance. Upstart, though bold, remains a modest creature, its market cap a mere $4.5 billion-a pittance compared to the leviathan of Affirm. The stock, a ghost of its former self, lingers 88% below its peak, as if haunted by the specter of past misfortunes.

Solana’s Fairytale of Fortune and Folly 😆

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Solana Market Chart

Upon delving into Master Martinez’s recent offering upon the ‘X’ platform, it is revealed that Solana’s trajectory has, since May of the not-so-far-off year 2025, been ensnared within an ascending channel as unwavering as Darcy’s resolve. Yet, such discipline has scarcely averted a flirtation with the channel’s lower threshold at about $180-yet another lighthouse in the mist for the discerning investor. Moreover, this pivotal support coalesces, by some stroke of fate, with the 200-day simple moving average, lending significant credence to its relevance. Bravo, Mr. Byronic!