🤑 Bitcoin’s Price: Because Who Needs Rent When You Can Hodl? 🤑

Bitcoin and Ripple price chart

On a random Tuesday (because why not?), Schwartz took to X (formerly Twitter, but let’s not get into that) to school us all. Someone asked, “Why spend Bitcoin if it’s gonna moon later?” And he was like, “Girl, because people are living in the now, not just HODLing for the apocalypse.” 🌙 Basically, using Bitcoin today is like saying, “I trust this more than my ex’s promises.” 💸

Bitcoin: $200K or Bust? 🚀💸 The Calm Before the Crypto Storm?

But hey, fundamentals are holding up like a good push-up bra. Sentiment’s neutral, ETFs are chugging along, and institutions are here for the long haul. Long-term holders are buying like it’s Black Friday, while short-term traders are ghosting. 👻 Funding rates? As neutral as Switzerland. 🇨🇭

Siligmueller Dumps First Trust ETF: Is the Dividend Party Over?

According to a secretive parchment-the SEC filing-Siligmueller’s team of financial conspirators had thoroughly cleansed their holdings of the ETF. They sold more than 98,247 shares, an amount that roughly equates to a bag of money sitting in a darkened room-about $8.87 million-based on the quarter’s average price. Once the pride of their holdings, the ETF’s once-loyal 3.4% slice of their asset pie shrank into a ghostly zero come late September. The whole edifice of their faith in this fund had crumbled so completely, it’s now less visible than a mouse in a sugar jar.

ZEC Plummets 33%… But They’re Still Buying Crypto? 😱

According to the official statement of its team, Leap Therapeutic, a producer of cancer drug sirexatamab, officially rebrands to Cypherpunk Technologies as it pivots to building Zcash (ZEC) digital treasury. One month ago, it secured almost $59 million for its crypto strategy from Winklevoss Capital. Because nothing says “trust us” like throwing money at a privacy coin. 💸

Chainlink Set for a Comeback: Will It Rise Like a Kindle Ignited? 🔥🚀

Now woods.ai, he’s a bright bulb, says DeFi is stirrin’ from its slumber, ready to bust out like a buck in a henhouse. He claims LINK’s been layin’ low, building up steam underneath the surface, like a pot awaitin’ to boil over. Called it “one of the finest oracle networks,” he did-just waitin’ for its moment to shine brighter than a firefly on a warm summer’s night. The man’s got a good eye-they say the coin’s cozy above a support zone near $15-$16, a range as familiar to traders as a ten-cent piece is to a dollar. A hop over that could send LINK on a rollercoaster ride, maybe up to $30, or even a hundred if you ask some long-term folks who have more patience than Job. The base pattern hints this little critter has been gatherin’ strength longer than a winter’s night, after clearin’ all sorts of market hurdles. 🐎💥

Straubel’s QuantumScape Exit: A Portfolio Puzzle

The mechanics of the sale reveal a certain theatricality: 130,065 stock options were exercised, then immediately liquidated, alongside an additional 27,106 shares. A derivative ballet, if you will, choreographed months earlier in June when QuantumScape’s shares languished below $5-a price that now seems as quaint as a horse-drawn carriage at a Formula 1 grand prix. Straubel’s prescience in setting up this pre-established trading plan, only to reap $17 per share, suggests either luck of biblical proportions or a quiet confidence in the alchemy of battery technology.

🚀 Dogwifhat: Will It Bark Past $0.50 or Fetch a Faceplant? 🐶💸

In a recent X post (because who reads blogs anymore?), analyst Osemka pointed out a “bullish divergence” on Dogwifhat’s daily chart. 🦬 Basically, the price is doing the emotional equivalent of a teenager-making lower lows-while the RSI is all, “I’m fine, actually, I’m thriving!” 😎 Apparently, this is a sign that the bears are getting tired of their growling routine. Or maybe they just need a nap. 😴