Michael Saylor’s Hilarious Bitcoin Advice Amid Global Chaos – You Won’t Believe It!

On February 16, our friend Saylor took to the social media platform X (not to be confused with the letter itself, which has done nothing to deserve such a fate) to respond to Dalio’s alarming claim about the unraveling of the world order established after the last great kerfuffle. In his infinite wisdom, Saylor championed Bitcoin as an asset devoid of counterparty exposure, like a well-buttered crumpet left out in the rain.

Brookfield: A Peculiar Sort of Growth

Brookfield Corporation (BN 0.02%), Blackstone, and Apollo Global Management. These are the names the financial magazines throw around, the ones that make my head spin. They all seem to be doing quite well, outperforming the S&P 500 for the past five years. Brookfield, specifically, has seen a 106.6% gain. Blackstone, a more modest 85%. And Apollo, a rather exuberant 143% since 2021. It’s enough to make a person consider taking up fruitcake investing.

ZIM & Hapag-Lloyd: A Shipping Romp!

By the closing bell, ZIM’s stock was up a good 25%, though it briefly threatened to achieve orbit earlier. Thirty-five percent! That’s practically a hostile takeover of good sense! But hey, who am I to judge? I once tried to corner the market on inflatable swords.

Buffett’s Last Gambit: Selling the Future for Yesterday’s News

It appears the Former Oracle, in his final quarter of overseeing Berkshire Hathaway’s hoard, decided to lighten the load. Not just lighten, mind you, but to positively shed holdings in companies that, until recently, were considered sacred cows. Amazon, Apple, Bank of America… all trimmed, pruned, and, in some cases, rather brutally hacked back. It’s like a gardener deciding, in the autumn of his years, that roses are overrated and he prefers turnips.2

S&P Global: A Quiet Ascent

Joshua Dennerlein, a name now momentarily etched against the backdrop of these transactions, has reinstated his ‘buy’ recommendation for S&P Global. A price target of $575 per share—a figure that feels less like a prediction and more like an aspiration, a hopeful reaching towards the sun. It’s a curious thing, this act of assigning value. As if one could truly capture the essence of a company within a single number.

MercadoLibre and the Quiet Discretion of Funds

The fund’s previous allocation, a mere 1% of its total holdings, has now vanished. One wonders if anyone at Black Swift truly noticed its departure. These percentages, so meticulously tracked, often seem to exist more for the comfort of analysts than for any genuine impact on performance.

Trilogy Metals: Fiscal Performance and Strategic Alignment

Trilogy Metals, engaged in the exploration and development of copper, gold, and silver resources, reported a net loss of $42.4 million for fiscal 2025, a substantial increase from the $8.6 million deficit recorded in fiscal 2024. General and administrative costs also rose, increasing to $1.3 million from $1.2 million. The absence of a reported top-line revenue figure complicates a comprehensive assessment of the company’s operational efficiency. While the company highlights its projects, the underlying financial trajectory warrants scrutiny.

Dividends & Dust

Realty Income. The name sounds like a threat from a loan shark, but they deal in real estate, not broken kneecaps. Since 1969, they’ve been handing out monthly checks, a steady drip in a world of quarterly storms. Thirty years of annual increases. That’s not luck; that’s a business built on solid ground. They’re a REIT, which means they’re legally obligated to share the wealth, paying out at least 90% of their taxable income. Currently, they’re offering around 4.92% annually, a decent enough return in a world where savings accounts are practically decorative.

Gemini’s Descent: A Winter’s Tale

Gemini released its preliminary figures for the year ahead, a glimpse into a future still shrouded in mist. Revenue, they project, will reach between $165 and $175 million—a harvest not unlike the previous year’s $141 million. Though respectable, it echoes the consensus, a quiet affirmation rather than a triumphant surge. The numbers, like the turning of the seasons, are predictable, yet hold their own melancholy beauty.