Dow, Nasdaq, and the Weight of Things

It’s been one of those weeks, hasn’t it? The market’s been doing that little jittery dance it does when everyone realizes we’re all just making it up as we go along. I keep expecting someone to shout, “Actually, the whole thing is based on bottle caps!” and for everyone to just… shrug. As of this afternoon, the numbers were down, predictably. I’ve learned not to get too excited about “up” or “down,” mostly because I once based a perfectly reasonable vacation plan on a particularly optimistic blip. It didn’t end well.

The Nasdaq and S&P 500 were taking the usual beating, but the Dow… the Dow was just sort of sighing. It’s always the Dow. A bit like my Uncle Harold at family gatherings – stubbornly resistant to enthusiasm, and always a little dusty around the edges. The numbers, for the record, were something like this: Nasdaq down 2%, S&P 500 a little over 1%. The Dow? A gentle decline of 0.4%. It’s all relative, I suppose. My therapist keeps telling me that.

The trouble, as near as I can tell, is Nvidia. Everything always comes back to Nvidia. It’s the new tulip bulb, isn’t it? A company worth more than several small countries, and all because people are convinced we’ll soon be outsourcing all our thinking to machines. They lost 3% today, which, in real money, is enough to fund a moderately sized principality. I read that number and immediately began researching tax havens. Just in case.

Investors are apparently disappointed with Nvidia’s earnings. Disappointed! It’s like being upset that your yacht isn’t quite large enough. They need to impress investors, apparently. The bar is set so high, it’s practically in orbit. It reminds me of my attempts at competitive birdhouse building. You can spend months crafting a masterpiece, and all the judge will do is point out the slightly uneven roofline.

And then there’s the whole AI thing. Billions poured into these systems, and for what? To generate slightly unsettling images of cats wearing hats? OpenAI got another $110 billion, which is… a lot. The investors, predictably, didn’t seem thrilled. It’s like giving your child a pony and then being annoyed when it requires feeding and mucking out. The market, it seems, expects miracles on a budget.

But the Dow… the Dow just kept chugging along, largely unaffected. It’s a price-weighted index, you see, which means the big, flashy tech stocks don’t have quite the same leverage. Instead, it was Goldman Sachs dragging things down, a hefty 7.2% drop. Apparently, inflation is still being stubborn. It’s like a guest who overstays their welcome. American Express also contributed to the gloom, but to a lesser extent. It’s always Goldman Sachs, isn’t it? They seem to have a knack for timing their downturns with my annual tax filing.

So, the week ends pretty much where it began. A lot of frantic activity, a few dramatic dips, and ultimately, a sense of weary resignation. It’s a bit like cleaning your house. You spend hours rearranging things, and then, five minutes later, it’s a mess again. Next week is a new month, and the earnings season is winding down. Investors will probably focus on the big picture, which, as far as I can tell, is mostly just a lot of uncertainty and carefully constructed narratives. And me? I’ll be over here, quietly researching bottle caps.

2026-02-27 22:05

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