Tether’s $10B Profit & $135B in Treasuries: The Digital Dollar’s New Powerhouse!

Tether’s Q3 2025 attestation confirms over $10 billion in year-to-date profit. The detailed report indicates a record exposure to U.S Treasuries. In particular, this massive investment amounted to $135 billion in total value. Therefore, Tether is now truly known as one of the most profitable private businesses in the world. Furthermore, excess reserves successfully maintain a strong financial buffer of $6.8 billion.

Private Equity’s New Messiah: Tokenization or Bust? 💸

As asset tokenization picks up momentum across real estate, debt, and treasuries, one segment remains largely untapped: equity. Still, despite its complexity, this market has significant potential, especially in the private equity space. Or, as Gogol might say, “A land of endless possibilities, if only the paperwork weren’t so absurd.” 📜

Zcash Hits the Moon 🚀-But Will It Stick the Landing? 🌕

Zcash (ZEC), the privacy coin with more secrets than a small-town gossip, has hit an eight-year high. That’s right, folks-it’s like the underdog finally winning the race, even if it took a decade to tie its shoelaces. This move isn’t just a blip; it’s a full-on market structure break on the monthly chart, the kind that makes technical analysts weep with joy. For the first time in what feels like forever, Zcash has formed a higher high, proving it’s not just a one-trick pony. 🐎

Is Ethereum About to Hit It Big or Crash? The Drama Unfolds!

Ethereum is currently test-driving its support level around 0.0325 BTC in the ETH/BTC pair. This number happens to sit comfortably with the 20-week moving average, which has been a rather sturdy cushion for ETH in past cycles. The ever-wise Michaël van de Poppe has lovingly dubbed this the “ideal zone for buys.” Oh, how thrilling! He suggests ETH is just begging to be part of your portfolio. Go on, add it, I dare you.

Futu Holdings: A Symphony of Digital Finance in the East

The acquisition, equivalent to a 0.98% crescendo in their 13F AUM symphony, now positions Futu as the 1.94% whisper in their portfolio’s ear – a supporting role, not the leading man. The fund’s current holding of 47,988 shares, valued at $8.35 million, might seem modest to the vulgar eye, but to the connoisseur it speaks volumes of calculated restraint.

Dogecoin in 2025: The WooHoo of Profits & Penguins – What Could Go Right?

Imagine this: ETF, ETF, ETF! Not a band, folks, but the Magic Carpet Ride that could lift DOGE into your investment portfolio faster than you can say “To the moon!” Three of these flamboyant funds have already spilled out of the incubator, with one – the glamorous DOJE- already strutting on the streets, raking in over $31 million like it’s Monopoly money. And the others? Well, let’s just say they’re waiting in line like it’s the hottest concert of the decade-SEC included, still debating whether DOGE is a real investment or just a clever way to sign up for dogecoin-nerd-dom. 🐕💸

Vantage Dumps $18M Floor & Decor Stake: Buy the Dip?

Picture this: Vantage had Floor & Decor in their portfolio at $90 a share. Now they’re selling it at $76. That’s like buying a brand-new Tesla and then trying to resell it at a yard sale. The fund’s Q3 2025 filing reveals they reduced their position from 1.28% of AUM to zero. For context, their top holdings now include United Health Group ($107.57M), Alphabet ($106.25M), and Nvidia ($62.01M). If I were FND, I’d be feeling the chill of a post-Thanksgiving clearance sale.

🤑 Crypto’s Grand Ballet: Basel’s Rules Get a Comic Twist! 🎭

Imagine, if you will, a committee of solemn sages, their wigs askew, debating whether stablecoins are but mischievous sprites or loyal servants of the financial realm. 😄 The United States, the United Kingdom, and the European Union, those grande dames of regulation, have yet to don their corsets of compliance, leaving the stage in delightful disarray! 🌍